What makes the perfect golf clubhouse?

We have all experienced it - standing at a crowded bar waiting to be served while everybody around you seems to be able to catch the eye of the barman or barmaid. You begin to feel like you are invisible.

You eventually get your order and settle down to watch the football match they have promised to screen when somebody decides it would be a better idea to put the darts on instead. You complain and are greeted with a shrug of the shoulders.

You then order some food. Ten minutes go by. Fifteen minutes. Twenty minutes. Eventually, after 35 minutes, your food is thrown down in front of you. You take one look at it - the chips are overcooked, the juicy steak you had so looked forward to is as tough as old boots. Instead of complaining, you grudgingly force it down.

I trust that much of the above sounds familiar. It cannot possibly just be me.

And it is because of those experiences that the golf clubhouse is so important to me. 

(Image Credit: Kevin Diss Photography)

In fact, there are some people who will tell you that the clubhouse is more important than the course it overlooks, but what would make my perfect golf clubhouse?

Good Car Park

First impressions are so important. When you pull up in the car park for the first time you want to see a building that boasts character and that is big enough. Oh, and you want an ample car park with wide open parking spaces. You do not want potholes filled with water. You definitely do not want to be trudging through mud to get from the car park to the clubhouse.

Generous Patio Area

For starters, you want a generous patio area, preferably one that overlooks both the first tee and the 18th green. The table and chairs should be clean and comfortable and there should be umbrellas to protect you from the sun (do you remember the sun?).

Proper Changing Rooms

Something that is often overlooked is the changing rooms. First of all, does the clubhouse actually have them? Do they offer towels and toiletries? And please, do NOT give me a shower that has a timer. EVER. And for goodness sake, make sure the water is hot enough.

It doesn’t concern me, but is there a hairdryer? And are there mirrors?

Are members given the opportunity to rent lockers, where they can leave their golf clubs?

Not Be Intimidating

When you enter the clubhouse you want to see trophies, honours boards and comfortable chairs but you do not want to feel intimidated. The last thing any of us need is that feeling that they do not actually want us in their clubhouse. It is a difficult balancing act but it is not impossible. If there is a TV, it should not be showing cricket. It should be broadcasting golf. Obviously!

Comfortable Seating

I want proper, comfortable seating that will accommodate groups of up to eight golfers without the need for us to move tables and chairs. I would like to see an active social scene. Are there regular quiz nights and social gatherings? If not, why not?

Bright Lighting

And will somebody please explain to me why it is that so many clubhouse bars are so poorly lit? It is like they don’t want you to see the food and drink they are serving you. We have a right to expect bright lights, something that contributes towards giving us a warm welcome in a good environment.

Good Service

Naturally, we expect to receive good service from the bar staff. But, again, why are so many golf clubs so reluctant to display drinks menus outlining the price of the pint of the beer you are about to offer? And why do so many have such a restricted choice of said beers?

If I introduce myself to the barman or barmaid, I expect to be addressed by my name after a few visits. That’s not too much to ask for, is it?

Open All Year

If I turn up to play early in the morning, my ideal clubhouse is going to be open all year, and at the very least they are going to be able to offer me a bacon or sausage sandwich or roll and piping hot cup of tea or coffee. A huge number fail to do so. They seem happy enough to open during the summer but not on cold winter mornings, which is exactly when you DO want it to be open for business.

Good Food

It goes without saying that my ideal clubhouse will sell wholesome, home-made food using locally-sourced produce, at prices that are affordable. I have to report that this is most definitely an area where things have finally improved.

Modern Essentials

Other essentials? Wi-Fi is right up there at the top of the list. This is 2026 - as such, there is no possible excuse for poor or non-existent Wi-Fi connections. And yet…can you tell me if you have ever seen a clubhouse bar with charging points? No, I can’t either.