Nightmare Christmas Golf Gifts

Post by Golf Journalist, Josh Carr

It’s that time of year again when the golf course is covered in a thick frost, clubhouses are redecorated with tinsel & holly and mince pies & mulled wine are on offer at the bar. Tis the season to be jolly as the adults get merry and gifts are exchanged. But we’ve all received that one horrendous golf gift that you have to pretend to be happy about. So what are the worst Christmas golf gifts to receive?

Exploding Golf Balls

These are a terrible gift to receive on Christmas morning. They serve no valuable purpose apart from a brief, cheap laugh. They come in several different forms such as one that explodes into a ball of smoke, one that fires ribbons and finally, the “un-puttable” ball.

The main problem is these balls look and feel and completely different to a normal golf ball. They are light and it is easy to see the difference. If you try and sneak it into someone’s basket on the range they will spot it straight away. When presented with the exploding balls, you are usually expected to hit it yourself. From past experience I would say by no means do this. The powder inside ruins your club-face and it takes an age to clean.

If you’re presented with this gift this Christmas simply smile and pretend it’s great. When you get the chance, hide it in your drawer or pass it on to someone else, possibly a non-golfer.

Scorecard Holders

The scorecard holder is another shocking gift. Now, I don’t mean the fancy leather ones that are waterproof, hold the card securely and even have a pencil holder; I mean the horrible, hard plastic ones with your own club logo on. They can usually be found in your pro shop on the desk as they struggle to flog them. Christmas definitely increases the sales of these ten fold.

Golf Chocolate

Chocolate is always an easy present to get away with at Christmas but why do people find it acceptable to buy golf related chocolate? For the non-golfer’s perspective I can see how thoughtful it is and how they’ve tried to do something different but from a golfer’s perspective it really isn’t very useful.

These chocolates usually come in the shape of a golf ball. Again the idea is nice but they last all of a few minutes after you devour the sleeve of three balls. However, some say that a chocolate golf ball does actually have more feel than a logo golf ball…

Hand Warmers

There’s nothing worse than receiving hand warmers for Christmas. They serve a purpose for about 3 holes of your round until they eventually lose heat. The only hand warmers that are even slightly acceptable are the ones that can be reheated at home.

They’re such a seasonal gift too. You only really need them for two/three months of the year. After that they’ll get lost in a drawer and never see the next winter.

Rock Solid Logo Balls

We’ve all received them, we’ve all pretended to be excited but if you’ve ever hit one, you’ll realise that most logo golf balls are rock solid. Hopefully you’ll never be in the position to have to hit one during a round but if you do don’t expect any feel whatsoever. Some would even say you get more feel hitting a pebble around.

Depending on what logo is on the ball, they can be used as an ornament to go with various other logo golf balls. You’ll notice there’s a correlation between where your non-golfing friends and family have been on holiday and what logo is on the golf ball.

Tees

Tees. Why, oh why, has it become acceptable to buy someone a bag of tees for Christmas? If there was ever a dull, golf related present to receive then it definitely would be a bag of plastic tees. It’s the equivalent of receiving a pair of socks on Christmas morning.

If it is just a normal pack of plastic or wooden tees then count yourself lucky. Sometimes you’ll receive a bag of comedy tees that come in weird shapes and sizes, usually the shape of a naked lady’s body. Yes, they hold their comedic value, but they really do not function well as a tee. Worst-case scenario, you will receive a box filled with them winter tees on a string.

Toilet Putting Mat

We’ve all seen them, they sit perfectly round the base of your toilet, and you get a little putter and ball so you can practice your putting while doing your business. The idea sounds great, and for the first couple of visits it is quite fun but after that it just becomes an unnecessary pain.

Countless times you’ll head to the loo and become more bothered about not crinkling your new putting green rather than doing your business. In the middle of the night you won’t see the ball that has made its way off the putting mat and into the middle of your bathroom in order to become a cartoon style death trap. It’s at this moment you realise it’s time to move the putting mat to the attic.

Golf Books

Now, I don’t mean your Bob Rotella type golf books I mean little notebooks filled with inspirational, humorous golf quotes. After a few minutes of flicking through the pages reading some of the quotes, that are often repeated a couple of times, you’ll realise that this is no more than a notebook and nobody wants one of them as a Christmas gift.

Also, them instruction books often prove no purpose for the everyday golfer. Nine times out of ten an instruction book is for a beginner and arguably they would suit someone just taking up the game, but when you’ve been playing for 10+ years, the last thing you want is a book telling you how to grip the club.

Cheap Range Finder

We’ve all seen them and we’ve all tried them. These range finders usually cost between £5 and £10 so it’s no wonder they aren’t the most accurate things in the world.

When you look through the small device you’ll notice some sort of scale printed onto the lens. You then have to line up the bottom of the flag with the horizontal line then wherever the top of the flag stops on the scale is how far away the pin is. Often, the only yardages available are 50, 100, 150 and 200 yards so anything in between is just a guessing game.

Note that these rangefinders don’t take into account whether you’re above or below the pin and you have to have the full pin in view to even have a chance of gathering a yardage.

There are so many more nightmare gifts you could receive so why not tell us about some of the worst golf related presents you’ve received? Let us know by commenting below....