What I would change about many golf courses

I love golf. For what other possible reason would I keep coming back to a sport that often treats me so badly? 

You know exactly what I mean. You go out one day and shoot a 78 and the next day it is like you have never in your life had a club in your hands. It is an addiction - and every one of you reading this will understand exactly what I mean. Even when you have a horror show there will always be one shot that comes right out of the middle of the club and nestles close to the pin. The shot that brings you back.

I love playing the game. I spend most of my spare time either watching it or writing about it. The novelty never grows old. For me, it’s a love affair.

(Image Credit: Kevin Diss Photography)

So that means there is nothing I would change, right? Wrong, wrong and wrong again.

There are many things about golf courses that drive me to the edge of distraction and, yes, you have guessed it, I am about to list some of them.

Tee Times

Why do so many golf clubs continue to make it so difficult to book the tee times we want? Let’s get something straight - I am not talking about Saturday times here. I am a senior golfer and that means I play my golf during the week. So you head to the booking system to sort out your times and they have all gone. But then you either phone the pro’s shop or pop in and, magically, you can get the time you want. 

Playing Conditions

There are many low-lying courses with rivers running through them that have to close for much of the winter because of flooding. It is a fact that climate change means we are now enduring wetter winters. My gripe is not with the courses that close; it’s with the ones that simply refuse to do so even when it is obvious that they should be doing so. I am talking about fairways that suddenly boast new water features, tees that more closely resemble swamps and slopes so slippery that it is absolutely inevitable that people are going to slip, fall and possibly break a wrist. I am talking about bunkers that are filled with water, greens that turn to mush. I understand why they are so reluctant to close their doors because doing so means they make no money. But there has to be a time when common sense should come into play, when conditions are too dangerous.

Bunkers

As you will know, I am a huge supporter of greenkeepers. They do a wonderful job in keeping our courses fit for play. But I do have one complaint and it concerns bunkers. Sit in any clubhouse after a round of golf and you will probably hear as many complaints and moaning about the condition of bunkers than anything else. Now the first thing to say is that our greenkeepers can do nothing about the people who refuse to rake the sand after playing from a bunker. But why do they seem so reluctant to get out there first thing every morning and ensure that the sand traps are fit for play? 

Slow Play

Most of us detest slow play. I know that I do. For me, taking five-plus hours to complete 18 holes of play is anathema. I hate it. Golfers complain about it, golf clubs complain about it. That being the case then, why are so many courses so reluctant to tackle the issue? Course marshalls are one obvious solution but there is so much more that could be done. Most clubs know who their serial offenders are but still allow them to tee off early in competitions, knowing that they are going to reduce play to a snail’s pace. Is it really beyond the wit of man to penalise these golfers or insist that they go out last? Why are they so reluctant to wave quicker groups through? Why do they not understand that you are only allowed three minutes to look for a golf ball? Why do so few of them hit provisional balls when their first tee shot has disappeared into the trees or plummeted into thick rough? And why do golf clubs not ensure that these rules are enforced?

Snobbery

I am sorry, but it still exists. There are still clubs that look down on women, that treat youngsters like a contagious disease and that treat visitors like pariahs. 

If I pay £100+ to visit a golf club then I expect to be treated like a human being. I expect a warm welcome from the professional, I do not expect to be told that I cannot have a drink in the members’ bar and I do not expect to be ignored by the bar staff because they know I am not a member. Sadly, I have experienced all of the above.

Range Balls

Do NOT get me started on range balls. I said… I spend a lot of time at the driving range because I enjoy working on specific parts of my game. Most ranges now have Trackman technology. The problem is that if you are trying to work out how far you hit each golf club then at most driving ranges you are completely wasting your time because the golf balls you are expected to hit are like lumps of stone, nothing like the balls that we actually use on the course. 

Showers

Why is it so difficult to get changing-room showers right? The first thing I object to is discovering that the shower has a timer and you have to keep hitting it to keep it working. But the thing that really drives me nuts is the stone-cold shower. Trust me, when I have played golf on a bitterly-cold winter day, the thing I am NOT looking forward to afterwards is a cold shower. 

What would you change about most golf courses if you had the chance?