Things That I Wished I Knew About Golf Sooner

I have been playing this wonderful sport of ours for most of my life. There were times when work got in the way and I have also had a couple of enforced breaks caused by injury.

I remain as enthusiastic about golf as I have ever been. But there are some things I wish I had known when my grandfather put a club in my hands for the very first time.

Addiction

I wish somebody had told me that playing this game is an addiction. It really is. You eat, sleep and breathe it. You dream about it. You have nightmares about it. You lie in bed after a good round and relive every single shot, thinking about the missed putts that could have made it even better. And don’t get me started on the feelings of hopelessness after you have a shocker. These awful rounds usually come after a good run of form, when you are stupid enough to believe that you have finally cracked it.

Equipment

Why did nobody tell me that, like every other golfer on the planet, I would become obsessed with finding the driver that gives me an extra 20 yards, and with discovering the three wood that I can hit from the fairway on a consistent basis? Why was I not warned about all the hype surrounding putters guaranteed to eliminate three putts? 

And YouTube? OMG! The tips guaranteed to permanently eliminate your slice. The 100% guaranteed method to get up and down from bunkers. The teasers that you start reading from some well-known teacher who has found "the secret" - you read hundreds of words and get to the end of the article, realise he or she has told you nothing at all, and then realise that you have to pay to find out the "secret"!

Why did nobody tell me that all these new drivers, fairway woods, irons and putters were going to require me to take out a second mortgage? Should we not be warned that becoming a keen club golfer who believes everything we read can become a very expensive habit - that is almost impossible to break? And why do manufacturers, having promised us the earth with last year’s model (which we have gone out and bought) then announce 12 months later that their new model is even better?

Oh yes, and I wish I had known that the best golf balls are so expensive. Do you honestly believe I am going to only take three minutes looking for a brand new Titleist Pro V1 that I have hit once? NO WAY!

Slow Play

When me and my mates played the game as teenagers we used to complete 18 holes in three hours - sometimes even less. I wish that somebody had told me back then that the older I got the longer my rounds of golf would take? Do you honestly think that our partners believe us when we leave for golf and return home six or seven hours later? Why do rounds of golf routinely take five hours?

Temperament

When I was losing my temper and throwing clubs as a teenager, I wish somebody had taken me to one side and told me that it was only a game and that as I got older I would actually take the time to enjoy the scenery and count my blessings that I am still able to play this game at a decent level. I now have friends who struggle to complete 18 holes because of dodgy knees, hips, backs and shoulders. These men and women would give anything to be able to get out there and smell the roses. I wish I had realised that winning isn’t everything - that spending quality time with good people is far more important.

Golf Courses

I played much of my early golf on the Old Course at St Andrews. We had a family home in a place called Lundin Links, not far from the Home of Golf, and we had something called Out of Town Membership. It meant we could play all the courses at St Andrews for next to nothing. I wish I had known that if I want to play the Old Course now, things are very different. Somebody should have told me that playing championship golf courses is a VERY expensive way to pass your leisure time.

Retirement

I wish that I had been able to retire far earlier than I actually did. Why? Are you serious? I now get to play at least three times a week. I play away team matches at some of the best golf courses in Norfolk for next to nothing. If it rains I get to stay at home because I know I can play tomorrow instead. 

Golf Clubs

I have been a member at several golf clubs during my life. Mostly, this is because I moved around the country because of my job. I wish I had known that not every golf club is the same. Somebody should have warned me that there are some very unfriendly golf clubs out there. Nobody told me there would be cliques. Nobody told me how difficult it would be to fit in as a new member. I don’t recall ever being told that the bar staff would be rude, that the food would be inedible. Nobody told me that at the first sight of rain the course would be closed - or that playing during the winter was something I could only dream of because from November through to February the course would be closed for most of the time. Why was I not warned that annual subscriptions would be increased by huge amounts without any explanation?

I have finally found a proper golf club that went out of its way to make me feel welcome, that is among the cheapest in Norfolk and is hardly ever closed because of poor weather.

Cars

When I first started playing I really wish somebody had told me that when the time came to buy a car I should always make sure the boot is big enough to accommodate my golf bag and my trolley - something I have consistently failed to do! And have recently done yet again!

Playing Partners?

It would have been nice to know that I didn’t HAVE to play with the same miserable golfers every time, that I could actually choose my playing partners!

Car Parks

Why did nobody warn me that it seems to be the law that golf club overspill car parks are full of pot-holes?

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