Why does golf commit so many fashion crimes?

If you watched The Masters then you cannot have failed to notice Jason Day’s rather eccentric sense of style. I have to say that if you or I turned up at Augusta National dressed as he was my gut feeling is that we would be shown the exit or would be told to go and get changed.

And what about Tommy Fleetwood’s Oxford bags? Baggy trousers on a golf course are not a good idea.

I don’t know what it is about this sport and bizarre fashion styles. Some would ask whether it has all gone too far.

Only last week, on an adjacent fairway I spotted somebody wearing pink shorts and a top of a different shade of pink. I am guessing that his wife had absolutely no say in dressing him!

Me? I am willing to admit to owning a pair of tartan trousers. But in no way and under no circumstances would I ever wear them for a serious round of golf. They are strictly reserved for society breaks. I also own a tartan cap. Over the years I have owned many extraordinary pairs of trousers and tops, but they have all been thoughtfully disposed of!

There are still some strange styles out there, none more so than the elasticated trouser bottoms that end above the ankle and are always accompanied by no socks. What is that all about? Really?

So it seems like the perfect time to revisit my thoughts on golf’s fashion and style crimes.

Rupert Bear Trousers

In the early 1970s, somebody thought it would be a fun idea to design Rupert Bear trousers for golfers. Like everybody else, I went out and bought myself several pairs. And, like everybody else, I couldn’t wait to dump them the moment that they went out of fashion. It wasn’t just that they looked awful - they had flared bottoms and trust me when I tell you that playing golf on a windy day is Scotland while wearing flared trousers is not something that is to be recommended!

Collarless Tops

These were made popular by Tiger Woods and were produced by Nike. In my world, polo tops have collars and most golf clubs insist that golfers were tops with collars. Nobody seemed to bat an eyelid when Woods started wearing his collarless tops. But golf clubs did. A close friend of mine turned up at a club in Surrey while wearing one and was told: "Sorry sir, but you cannot go out on the course wearing that." He replied: "But Tiger Woods wears this exact top." The response? "Not if he turned up to play here."

Knee-Length Socks

I once turned up at a Suffolk course wearing tailored shorts and ankle-length socks and was informed by the professional that I couldn’t play his course unless I was wearing knee-length socks - which, of course, he could sell to me! It was 25C for goodness sake. So I bought said socks but he didn’t have anything to hold them up so by the time I got to the first tee they were down around my ankles! Doh!

Sun Visors

Was there ever a more useless invention than a sun visor? Yes, it keeps the sun out of your eyes and yes it offers a degree of protection to your forehead but absolutely none whatsoever to the top of your head. For the life of me, I cannot understand why anybody would EVER want to wear one!

Diamond Tops

Fashions come and fashions go. There was a time when just about everybody I knew wore Pringle jumpers. Nick Faldo was perhaps their most high-profile advocate. They produced some wonderful tops. Fortunately, the diamond pattern was fairly short-lived!

Multi-Coloured Trousers

Over the years I have worn red, green, lilac, purple, white, orange and pink trousers. Why?

Sunglasses

Of course I fully understand why some golfers need to wear sunglasses when the sky is blue and the sun is in the sky. But will somebody please explain to me why so many tour pros wear them on the back of their heads? I assume it is because they have sponsorship deals that force them to have them on display whether they need them or not. But please! It is ridiculous.

Plus-Fours

My grandfather played golf in plus-fours. He also wore a shirt and tie on the course. In his defence, he was born in 1910! He played golf in an era when plus-fours were fashionable. Payne Stewart was one of my all-time favourite players. I loved his golf swing, his temperament and the way he played the game. But those plus-fours? No, no and no. He did, of course, have a rather lucrative sponsorship deal with the NFL which made it all financially worthwhile but he should be remembered for what he achieved on the course rather than the way he looked on it. There was also an Australian golfer called Rodger Davis who wore plus-fours. Stewart was blessed with an athletic figure. Davis was not. And it was NOT a good look.

Hoodies

Let me be clear - I own several hoodies. For me, they are a winter essential. But I would never wear a hoodie on the golf course and for the life of me, I do not understand why anybody would. If it’s cold and wet, wear a waterproof golf jacket and a hat. There is a time and a place for hoodies and the golf course is not it.