Can you fall out of love with the game?

Just raising the question as I think I've had enough.  I really don't care enough anymore . . . . hold on let me start at the beginning.

Around June time was playing some fantastic golf shooting in the high 70's early 80's and looking forward to the long Summer ahead - and being a teacher its fantastic!  Set my goals for the summer: practice twice a week, play twice a week, and wait for the scores to roll in.

Things looking good shot between 78 and 84 consistently throughout June, won a society event, and thought here we go!  Bring on the Summer!

Played with my father in law on a Saturday in July and shot 79 including 10 pars and went home talking about shooting a couple over par or better - feeling great!

And then . . . . the shit hit the fan.  What happened I still don't know.

The swing went, driver first, then the long irons, chipping went, putting continually saving me for a few more rounds but with confidence dropping day after day it was only a matter of time.  Society event in July came, shot 17 points , Shot my worst round of the year - a 94!  A 94 what is going on.

Panic set in and I started changing things in a desperate attempt to get something back.  I was topping, slicing , fatting, and get this missed the ball several times for the first time ever!  So embarrassing. This has basically been the story for the summer holidays, tried to stick to the training routine but I lost motivation.  When I seemed to get something to work it broke down again on the course.

It has come to a head today, been back to work this week and was looking forward to playing.  How wrong could I have been.  Shot 104  Ah man that was tough, my playing partners cant believe how much my game has deteriorated over the last few months.  I missed the ball again today, cue the laughter.  Every so often I hit a shot that came out of the middle and it felt great.  I stuck it out though, finished my scoring duties and  just felt terrible all the way home.

I cant be bothered anymore as nothing seems to work.  I cant afford any lessons, monies too tight to mention.  I feel as though I did 4 years ago when I first started, not the excitement but the 'no idea what the hell I'm doing'

Anybody else ever feel like this and get through the other side.  Should I take a break?  Should I walk away? I don't really know what I'm asking for here, maybe just a rant.

But for now I am falling out of love fast  

Hold on a moment, Chris, we have all been at that point at some time throughout our golfing lives. The answer is not easy to find, but a gifted player like yourself should not be even contemplating it.

My handicap has been rising steadily for months, until recently I discovered the one little thing that was the cause of all my strife and to put it into a nutshell, it did not require swing changes, lessons or advice from the many good players I am fortunate enough to play with, but just a change in my Tempo, which had become so fast in an effort to get more length from the tee. Strange that I had never struggled with this with my irons. I am now more relaxed on the tee, making a constant effort to swing much slower than I have been doing and I have had 2 rounds recently that I could never have dreamed of not so long ago.

So please do not give up.

chris, you don't get to you handicap by chance, you have it for a reason, your h/cap alone tells me your a good player but a good player going through a bad patch, it's easy for others to say but i feel you have to stick it out, i start with my short irons whilst practising if i'm going through a bad patc, 50-80yard chips with my wedge, when things a fine there i just take 1 more club at a time untill things improve, i am sure that it's just a blip and you'll be shooting low 80's in no time, keep the faith.

I think the main problem is I don't know what I have changed and how it came about.  I thought I'd solved a small part, as I realised I was regripping the club at the top of my swing, which brought me over the top.  That 'quick fix' lasted about 2 holes.

All in all my swing feels completely different and I cant seem to get it back in the slot, it so hard to play this game when it rips you to pieces each time you go out.  Ah man this is rubbish. 

Weird isn't it? When you get down to a lowish handicap and all of a sudden you can't do anything right.

When I was going through this patch I put it down to trying to improve even further, instead of accepting that this is possibly as good as I am, shooting in the mid 70's to low 80's, many people I know would give a limb to be able to do that.

To improve further I would have to radically change my game. I eventually decided that the game I played wasn't pretty, but it worked for me, and golf isn't about looking good, its awareness of yourself.

Try reading a book called 'Extraordinary Golf' by Fred Shoemaker.

Paul

Chris there are probably a dozen or so players feeling as you do today me included after Wychwood. I have shot bigger numbers than you this year fella it hurts i know, but  it's golf thats the attraction. Basically we all go through it.

you know how it is, some days you play well and don't score and vice versa, i have hit 2 90's in the last 3 weeks, i won't even enter them into golfshakes score trakker

Chris, How have you been feeling on the 1st tee the last 3 or 4 rounds? Is it "oh no,here we go again" or "this time i,ll get it right". I'm sure you have heard it all before but a negative attitude breeds bad play and vice versa. Go back to basics as you obviously have a pretty good swing to get to single figures. Maybe save up for just one lesson (£30 ) and it may all get sorted in 1 lesson. Im a good half dozen shots inferior to yourself and if I have a bad patch I will start to stare at the ball before and during the shot. This tends to eliminate the fats and thins and dare we say it, AIR SHOTS.

Best of luck Dave CAC handed Geordie.

I think that is half the problem 'because no body can tell me what I am doing wrong' I can't be bothered at the minute because I am so down about the game.

I'll have to save the pennies and get a lesson or two.

£30 may be right for a course pro, but there are many course teachers that may not have the years behind them that will be only half that amount, look around and ask at your local courses, my wife was geting 3 45min lessons for £45 at a local course

Chris,

I am where you are at the moment.  It tends to happen at this time of the year when I'm trying to get games in after work while it is still light enough and I can get 'golfed out'.  I think there is an element of what I suffer with in your game. 

You have set yourself a target of golf four times a week which is great, BUT ONLY IF YOU ARE ENJOYING IT.  I bet you played come rain or shine, happy or sad, whether you wanted to or not.  You almost hit it on the head with the title of your post.  You haven't fallen out of love with the game, but you have stopped enjoying it and it has become a chore.  You are playing because you think you have to instead of because you want to. 

I find if I have a couple of weeks without playing, I start to get the itch again and when I get out there again after a couple of warm up holes the rhythm comes back and the game comes back too. 

I'm not saying this is the answer to all your problems, but it certainly helps me.

I think there is some truth in what Chris is saying.  I feel as though I have to play to justify my membership come rain or shine.  I cant remember the last time I looked forward to playing (maybe because of the form?) 

I wonder if I can cancel my direct debit at the club and then only play when I want to until I start enjoying the game again.   

'I think there is some truth in what Chris is saying.  I feel as though I have to play to justify my membership come rain or shine.  I cant remember the last time I looked forward to playing'

This tells me you don't need a lesson Chris, just read the bloody book!

Paul

This tells me you don't need a lesson Chris, just read the bloody book! 

 Yes sir!

Just looking for it now.  Seems to be loads in the States.  

Only available in the State I think Chris, got mine for $0.01 from a bookshop in Chicago on Amazon.

Chris,

I have been going through this patch for about 12months now with the dreaded shanks & hopefully I'm just seeing the light?

What I did was adapt my game. I couldn't hit an iron for love nor money so I started to leave myself longer shots into greens so I could hit hybrids & fairway woods. On par 3's I'd take half swings with those clubs & it got me around the course. The result was I no longer dreaded playing but started to enjoy it a bit more.

I think it's paying off now as I qualified for the GS Open & after 9 holes in the final scored 17 points (would have been 18 except for a double hit on the putting green from a foot!). The back 9 caught me out but I now have that urge again to go out & play rather than turning up & making excuses before I'd hit a ball.

I would also say as well that unless you know what your doing wrong then there's no point going up the range as you will be practising bad shots. If you can't afford lessons then there's plenty of help & tips on here & places like you tube.

Good luck.

Bit of an update.  Went with a friend to the range last week (plays off 3) and he spotted a major flaw that has crept into my swing.  I was opening up the face of the club a ridiculous amount during my back swing and pulling the club right round - almost as if I was swinging a baseball bat.

He pointed me in the right direction and I was hitting the ball better in no time, it felt like it used to feel.  I had more room to swing (as it were).  I am still breaking my wrists at the top which opens up the face again (occasionally) which adds loft to any club!  

I shot a 93 yesterday which I was chuffed with, in the circumstances.  Its going to be a long road back with plenty of practise to boot.  I'm going to the range again this week with my mate and I'll let you know how I get on.

Bring back the love!

Good to see you back in the saddle Chris.

chris, give it a few weeks and all this will be nothing but a bad memory

is this the same Steve that shot 15 under to win a comp?

i know you don't want to hear it but you are in a very envious position, someone with you ability will regain your mojo

Chris if you want a real laugh come and play across the road with me. I have amassed a total of 82 points in my last 4 comps. All this playing off my club handicap of 27. This Sunday I managed a total of 4 points on the front 9 strangly I scored 10points on holes 9 - 12. Stood on the 13th all I could think at last I've hit some form, I then proceeded to blob the last 6 holes.

As the great Vince Lombardi said about a different sport: "Everybody gets knocked down; what counts is whether you get up again."

Chris,

Yes you can fall out of love for the game, 6 years ago I played off 5 my best round was 3 under gross. The it all went, I still play a lot but dont enjoy it as much as I used too, my handicap is now 12 and this summer I have begun to play off 12 if not a little less, so my love is returning. I must say i used to practice a lot and I have only just retuned to practicing  a bit again, and so I guess that is the reason Im playing better.

Good Luck

Mike

Cheers for all the advice and kind words gents, its good to know that others have been through the same mess.  I was laughing at myself the other day as I thought it was a change of golf shoes - ha ha ha!

Actually looking forward to playing tomorrow, I've stopped heaping pressure on myself and am starting to enjoy the game again. Not thought about the game since last weeks 93 and I am really looking forward to the golf tomorrow.

Here's to positivity! 

There might be something in the change of shoes.

Last year I bought a cheap pair of Nike shoes & couldn,t stop hooking the ball in them, it felt like my weight was always falling onto my heels.

Playing a course in them one day where you have to pass the car park between holes 9& 10, changed back into my old footjoys & started to hit proper golf shots again!

Maybe it was just a coincidence, and my mate took the piss out of me for it, but I haven't worn them shoes since.

I bloody hope it isn't the shoes as I have just spent £100 on the new pair.  Anyway back to my old pair as the course is beginning to show a bit a mud and the white ones won't last a minute in them.

Scratch positivity.  Just got back in after walking off the course after 8.5 holes.  Shot 1 point on the front - surprised I lasted that long to be honest.  Fatting, thinning, duffing chips, missed the ball will my driver on the second!  Gutted as I love this game.

 I think a long break is in order.  Maybe leave it now till the new year and see how I feel then  

What will happen if I cancel my direct debit at the club?  Will they demand the rest of the fees? 

Interesting comment regarding the glove, I, myself have only started using a glove for the past three years, as arthritis has started to kick in.

Always played without one, the reason, was because I thought they were an expensive luxury that I could ill afford, because in real terms they were relatively more expensive fifty years ago than they are now and were made of a lot finer cabreta than todays thicker ones.

This has been interesting reading and a few points have arisen.

One answer is K.I.S.

When you get to a certain level (different for each person) you start to think more and more about what you are doing, rather than "Keeping It simple" and just doing it. Trying to think what your left elbow is doing halfway through the back-swing stops you from doing other things correctly. Just hit the Ball. 'Tempo' is the only thing you should think of during a swing.

Then when you reach Cat1 you will have the experience to be able to think what is happening to certain parts of your body during a swing without effecting it. Until then K.I.S.

If it a case of you don't enjoy playing, then have a break, you will soon want to be out there again.

TheLyth

So here we go, its been nearly a month since hitting a ball.  I've read countless magazine articles from old todays golfers, countless forum and website articles and as I've finished for half term resisted playing this morning for the first time in a month and headed up to my old club and the range. 

Then the break through!  I was flicking through some of my old swing videos on youtube and I stumbled across this one.  I know its not perfect but its MY swing.  The swing I have been missing since June.  My old faithful friend.

I was intrigued with how close to my head the club is at the top of my swing and how I gripped the club further down the grip (I'm only talking about a cm or two).  Hmmm I thought.

Armed with few new things to try I felt positive. £16 pound range card and I was away.

Ok I thought I've got the whole day to solve this once and for all.

It took 3 minutes and about 5 balls.

Suddenly, I cocked my wrists (something I have not been doing), the club was high and I was swinging the club more easily than I have been doing for an age.  The wedge went well, 9 iron, 8 iron, through to my long irons!  I was hitting my usual distances with the height I have got so used to.

Not to get carried away, out came the Driver.  Oh my God, BOOM! I actually swore out loud and got a few funny looks at the range Christ. that's what I have been missing all this time.  Ball after ball after ball after ball, my usual beautiful fade was back.  I was in heaven for a few minutes.

Driver went away, wedge back out.  Back, cock wrists, up near my head, and away it went, sailing as high and as accurate as before.  After that I sat down and took stock of what has happened.  I was so pleased and all it took was a glance at a swing recording from a year or so ago.

I hit 300 balls and hit about 10 shots I wasn't pleased with!  Beaming!

I'm trying not to get carried away with today, but I couldn't resist booking a round for lunchtime tomorrow with my father in law.  I'm not expecting much......

.... I am actually  I will report back tomorrow night to see if I am back in love with this sodding game again.

Sorry for the late reply.  Shot a 97 on Saturday, not brilliant but the swing felt much better and I felt the score could have been a lot better. 

Feeling much more positive now, and the last few holes, my driver was working a treat.  Looking forward to the range this week and playing again later this week!

Overall, the swing will take time to come again and to get my distances back - here's to the future!

im in the same boat, i dont have the time to practice my handicap is rising infact its gone from 3.5 to 6.7 but im playing really solid for 15 holes the rest is poor, i set really high standards and one is if things aren't going right WALK AWAY 

im a really frustrated sport player things need to be right or its deffo time to quit mainly as the enjoyment is completely gone 

so yet again after one ten year break coming back for 2 years im going to be a social golfer again with proberly 8-10 rounds a year no more twice a week 

oh i do tell a lie i practice my short game from 50 yrds and its got really good but that 20 mins before a round for touch, golf is weird sometimes your a god sometimes you look like a d1ck 

ive got a set of ps9's blade style sometimes i think grow up and get some cavity backs and crack it, rather than im a good player i can use knifes (no you can't) 

weight things up is there anything else you can do ?? do counter the loss of 4hrs sport 

Chris,

Just noticed this post pop back up and after looking at your picture can't help but think I may have played golf with you on Saturday at Whychwood Park.

Gary,

I'm slow in responding.  Yeah you did mate, you'll understand my woes then.

UPDATE

Been scrimping and saving and managed to save £75 for 6 lessons with the pro at my old club.  First lesson on Friday, don't know what to expect, hope he can give me loads of training tips.  I'm feeling keen and looking forward to the new season.

Here's hoping.

Chris

This is the first time i have seen your post.

I have to agree with J.P. , 5 or 6 months ago i was in your shoes, shanking, slicing, air, thin, and fat shots.

I just did not know what or why i was playing so badly, then i started to go over my local park about 6.30 am in the morning when no one was about and practiced different swings until i was hitting the ball more consistently, im not a lover of ranges prefer to hit the ball of its natural surface ie grass, and it turned out that i was swinging to fast which resulted in me to tighten up.

So i slowed my swing down considerably and hey presto i started playing the best golf i had played for years, so much so that my favourite club in my bag was my 4 iron hitting it straight down the middle every time about 200 yards. Before you go for your first lesson try slowing your swing down and what i mean by that is try a slow up swing with a slightly quicker and relaxed down swing it worked for me and i never looked back, in my case it was definately the tempo.

Hope it works for you too as i know how depressing it can be playing so badly...

Sanders

Don't shoot a man when hes down.    

Sanders!  Bring on the banter.

Hi Chris, banter's the last thing you need. I've read through the thread and two things pop out from two of our experienced players, JP and Lyth. Keep it simple and concentrate on tempo. It'll come back (and no doubt go away again... come back again ad nauseum) but you've got to take the rough with the smooth. Hitting a bad patch can be a bad spiral not helped by overanalysis and lessons wont help unless you work v hard to carry them through. I've played under my handicap a couple of times in the summer in competitions and can't remember the last time I hit 40pts in competition...of course it's different when you're having a non pressured knock around but we all want to do it in the comps.

 Hang in there.

Right Gents, just got back from my lesson with the Pro and . . . . . . . . . . .that has got to be the BEST £15.00 I have ever spent. 

He knew exactly what was wrong straight away after me only hitting 2 balls!  As I mentioned a few posts back, I was opening the club face so much I was turning a 6 iron into a PW!

- Grip sorted

- Check position on take away.

And I was away!

I was hitting my 9 iron a measly 90 yards (due to the open club face) minutes before, whilst I was warming up (actually doing more damage) and minutes later 130 yards!!

I am over the moon.  He filled me with confidence, and set out a plan for the next 5 weeks.  Next week we will be working on the top of my swing as I still sometimes open the club face.

Looking forward to next week already.  I don't really know if I should play tomorrow or go back to the range.

All good players open the clubface, Chris.

I believe that is the case J.P, but do most pro's not do that to take out the left side? With most of us amateurs favoring the right side is a more neutral position going to help the ball to go straighter?

John, behave.  To be fair I was opening up the club face so much it was nearly upside down!