Laying Up

It was a sunny Friday morning on the first hole of a busy course and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualising my upcoming shot, when a piercing voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker. "Would the gentleman on the women's tee back up to the men's tee please!" I could feel every eye on the course looking at me. I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement,  "Would that MAN on the WOMEN'S tee kindly back up to the MEN'S tee." I simply ignored the announcement and kept concentrating, When once more, the man yelled: "Would the MAN on the WOMEN'S tee back up to the MEN'S tee, PLEASE..!!!!!!!!!Finally, I stopped, turned and looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the mike. I cupped my hands and shouted back :  "Would the twat in the clubhouse kindly shut the f*ck up and let me play my second shot.....!!?!! 

Us youngsters aint heard em mate....