Golfisms!

I am new to this site and thought I would ask you all to depart some golfing wisdom on a new member! The question is not whether or not golfism should be in the english dictionary but instead what phrases you all use to describe shots and actions on the course.

As an example to get started: when someone in your playing party "duffs" a shot i.e hits the ball all along the floor, it is simply known as a "Sally Gunnell" (an ugly runner)!

I'm suppose to be working but thought I would join in! 

A Adolf Hitler - taking two shots in a bunker
A O.J. Simpson - somehow got away with it
A Condom - safe but didn't feel  very good
A sister-in-law -I'm up there, but I know I shouldn't be
A Kate Moss - thinned it
A Diego Maradonna - nasty five footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rock Hudson- thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A ladyboy - Looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems
A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
A Bin Laden - driven out, never to be found again

A Arthur Scargill - A great strike but a poor result
A Russell Grant - A fat iron
A Peter Mandelson - An unbelievable iron
A Kate Winslett - A bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Paula Radcliffe : Not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but the same result
A Gerry Adams : A provisional
A Gynaecologist's Assistant : Just shaved the hole

May be some repeats in here, but better than missing out some good ones.   
A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out
A Cuban - needs one more revolution
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
A Glen Miller - kept low but didn't make it over the water
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O.J. Simpson - got away with it
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Robin Cook - just died on the hill
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading
A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs
A Ken Livingstone - quite far left  A Negress - nothing to be proud of, but will take it anyway
A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right
A Mrs Patel - ugly, but a good worker
A circus tent - a BIG top
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A Liz McColgan - Ugly but runs forever
A Brazilian - Shaves both sides of the hole  

There is the David Beckham-Chose wrong club

worthy off a golf info page ?

http://www.golfshake.com/forums/view/1327/golfshake_com_golfer_help_page.html ;

Heard another on Sunday

Osama Bin Laden - Horrible, you know where it went, but you can't find it no matter how long you look

    A son in law-Not what you wanted but it will do.