Dave Doncaster (25)
Greater Manchester, United Kingdom

Thought I’d write this blog and see if I can explain a few things about myself, to those who are bored and what to read garbage.

Firstly, I am a Southerner! I moved up North 6 years ago for an easier way of life. Didn’t think it would be this laid back though!

I picked up golf very late in life. I was about 28 and working with a guy, he was about 62, he kept telling me he was short of a partner this weekend for golf. I continued to tell him I had never played but he kept hinting. In the end I had to tell him I had no clubs and surely it was too expensive. Any way, I ended up joining him using his sons set of clubs. We went around a municipal course near Worthing called Hill Barn. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and shot 112. I asked him how that stood and he said really good for a beginner. On the drive back I had convinced him to take me back there tomorrow. I shot 105. I was hooked!! Well and truly.

From then on, I was in relationships that wanted 100% attention. So I soon gave them up and bought my first set of clubs. £1,200 for a set of Mizuno T Zoid irons and John Letters Woods. I am still playing with those clubs today, 15 years on.

I became a member of a course called Osiers Golf Club, it should have been called Osiers Farmland but the members were great and it gave me first glimpse of competition. I loved it. In those days I hit straight and long. Frequently won the longest drive. Played in all weathers, including in a snowstorm and thick fog.

I then decided my golf was getting better than the course, not hard when it was cultivated out of farm land and quite muddy. So I became a member at Chichester Golf Course. Started off a 20 handicap and by the time I left I was on 11.7. Played many comps for the club and only lost one in all. Loved the thrill of competitions so much. Picked up the pharse “Put within a dustbin lid”. This was always said to me by my comp partner who said imagine a dustbin lid around the hole and make sure you always put to end up within that. Well let’s just say, I must have had the biggest bin in those days. As my accuracy came with the irons, my length and straightness went with the woods. Oh what a great game golf is!!

I scored a hole in one whilst playing a 9 hole competition in the evening. As I came into the clubhouse, I asked if I could play the back nine and was told if I did, I would be disqualified from the competition. I came in 3 under par for the front nine gross!! I had a hole in one, a birdie and seven pars. I’d never been more on fire but I didn’t continue. Grrr oh what could have been. Fortunately I had golf insurance that allowed me £200 for a round if I got a hole in one. It cost me about £8.50 that night because England were playing Uraguay in either the world cup or Euro,  can’t remember. I shot the hole in one with an 8 iron and two days later I hit an eight iron and it hit the pin and landed an inch from the hole. Thank God, that would have been expensive on a Sunday lunch time.

I have a Bessie mate daan saff called Nick. He comes up to me and I go down to him once a year. We work it around playing golf. He has always told me that he only enjoys golf when we play together. He seems to think I am the only one he plays who isn’t competitive. Mind you he didn’t think that a couple of weeks ago at Ingon, when I threw my club off the tee after doffing yet another shot. We decided to meet half way and ended up staying and playing in Brum. We played at Leamington and Ingon. Ingon is a course I would recommend to anyone and everyone. If you have a society and what to play somewhere really nice, then play and stay there. They have a hotel attached too and if I remember the golf is half price if you stay.

Question for you all. Think about this question once I have asked it.

If you are standing on the tee of a par 4 which is 300 yards, what club selection would you choose??

Two options eh, here’s the first…..Grab your driver out of the bag and whoosh it down the middle of the fairway as long as it will go. Okay so you have done this and your ball has now ended up on the semi rough and you have 70 yards to go, what choice now?? 9 iron? Pitching wedge? Wedge? Okay make your shot………………….oops over the back of the green. Let’s go back to the tee………………………&hell
ip;…You are standing on the tee and you realize you have 300 yards, hey that’s 150 yards twice! How many times have you need on the driving range and found the club that does just that distance? Loads of times, sometimes its even been your driver J

Ok so now the second scenario, you take the 7 iron, maybe 6 iron and strike the ball right down the middle of the fairway. Hey all you have to do now is the same shot again and you are on the green. Wahay, look it worked, On the green!!

Why whack the hell out of the ball on the tee and then have to pick up the pieces later? Use your head, play the par and birdies will happen. You aint gonna drive the par 4 300 yard green with the driver, so why make the second shot harder?? Oh golf can be so easy. Try it next time you play. Half the distance on the tee and then use the club that will do that distance twice. See what happens.

Oh and another tip, this is mainly for Wayne, the only way you can use your 6 iron for a lob shot is if you make a mistake and grab the 9 iron from your bag without knowing.

My last rant is going to be to explain a bit more about my forum Sloping Tees!! For all of those people out there that didn’t seem to understand the first time, I was not moaning about any other conditions of the courses, just their Tees, and this is why.

To end a hole, you have to go onto this very flat, short cut piece of green that has a hole of standard size. Greens on courses are the reason players go back to them. So the courses pay a lot of attention on them. Okay let’s go backwards, we then come to the Fairway. This can be any shape, slope, up, down, sideways, wet, muddy, bumpy, awkward, whatever, it is a fairway and we expect them to be however they are. If we go back further, we then come to the Tee. This should be flat and level! Not slopey, slanting, wet, muddy or anything else. They use the same grass on the tee as they do on the green. All tees should be 50 foot long from front to back. Have 5 foot intervals and moved to these intervals each day. Ie Monday, you tee off from the front of the tee, Tuesday you tee off from 5 foot back, Wednesday you tee of from 15 foot back and so on. Once you get to Thursday, the green keepers should be rebuilding the front 5 foot and then working back each day. It’s not rocket science. But what stops this happening? Well too be honest, the last thing that gets designed on the hole, is the Tee…oh we can place an X where the tee shoots from and then they find there is no room in that corner to make the tee properly. I have stood nearly in another field from one tee. You never see anybody mention the condition of the tees on course. Well remember this, To end a hole, it relies on the condition of the green. That is the number that goes on your score card to state whether your game has been shite or not. 18 times a round, that happens. Well guess what, the same can be said for the start of the hole. Without the starting shot, you can’t make the end shot. Therefore you also have 18 start shots from the tees. Make these tees flat and even to give all people a fighting chance.  That’s my beef, fullstop!

Time for me to go and plan my golf for this Friday. Tomorrow I will find out if I am going to be playing Friday afternoon with my boss or Friday morning with two complete strangers that I may need sunglasses on just to hide their clothes.

Please feel free to message me if the tip about halving the distance on each hole worked. Okay smart arses, I only means holes that you can halve comfortably and play irons!!