Golf Academy Awards

By: Golfshake Editor | Thu 16 Feb 2017 | Comments


Post by Sports Writer Derek Clements


Hollywood is about to reward its leading actors and actresses, directors, editors, sound men and women for their roles in the films, animations and documentaries that made the headlines in 2016. We at Golfshake thought it was about time that somebody did the same thing for the world of golf. So here we present the winners of the first Golfshake Oscars...

BEST PICTURE

Henrik Stenson when he holed the winning putt to claim The Open at Royal Troon.

Special mention for Danny Willett when he donned the Green Jacket at Augusta.

MALE GOLFER IN A LEADING ROLE

Dustin Johnson. After so many nominations, the Dustinator finally came good with his starring role at the US Open. It won't be his last award.

FEMALE GOLFER IN A LEADING ROLE 

Lydia Ko. There were no other contenders. Ko looks like she could dominate this category for years to come.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE PLAYER

Hideki Matsuyama. The Japanese golfer is going to have to learn to master English as he is going to have to get used to giving a lot of acceptance sppeches.

BEST SUPPORTING GOLFER

Matt Kuchar. No golfer on the planet comes so close so often.

BEST ANIMATED GOLFER

Pat Perez.. Claims to have calmed down but you always know by the expression on his face exactly what type of shot he has just struck. And not sure that his golf clubs would agree that he is a calmer individual.

BEST CHILD GOLFER

John Daly. There are those who claim that the Wild Thing is now 50 but that cannot possibly be true. Have you seen his behaviour? Still throwing petulant fits, still throwing golf clubs into lakes.

COSTUME DESIGN

Ian Poulter. This award could only go to the man who believes that the Union Jack is an appropriate design for a pair of trousers and that it is all right to have one black leg and one white one. Oh yes, and that is not to forget the trousers he wore to play in The Open with the Claret Jug adoring the leg. He missed the cut!

BEST DIRECTOR

Keith Pelley. The European Tour's head honcho is a man of the people and an innovator. In other words, exactly what golf needs right now.

BEST SUPPORTING ACT

Bones Mackay. Despite arthritic hips and dodgy knees, Bones still humps Phil Mickelson's bag around the course, following his employer into the most unlikely of places.

MAKE-UP AND HAIRSTYLING

Joint winners: William McGirt's hairdresser and Andrew Johnson's beard consultant. McGirt's hair has a mind of its own, and we can only speculate as to what (or who) might be living in Johnson's beard.

BEST SOUND EDITING

This is a joint award to all the sound men around the world who have managed to edit out most of the uses of the f-word by the young men who would pretend to set a shining examples to the youth of the world.

VISUAL EFFECTS

Augusta National. Perfect, just perfect. The grass is greener than anywhere else, the water is bluer than blue and the flowers are extraordinary. A visual feast for the eyes.

BEST COMEBACK

Alex Noren. Was making a decent enough living but emerged as a superstar with not one, not two, not three, but four wins in 2016. Stunning comeback from the Swede.

LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT

Tiger Woods. You know it is over when your best days are behind you and your last starring role came at the 2008  US Open.

MOST PROMISING NEWCOMER

Emiliano Grillo. Imagine teeing it up in your first ever PGA Tour event. Imagine winning it. Imagine no more - that is precisely what Grillo achieved.

 


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