Im writing a new golf book

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Dave ley

Handicap : 9.7

Posted : Tue 3rd Aug 2010 08:53

You may not know it, but I have been very busy over the last couple of
years putting my thoughts and ideas together into a book. I am very proud
of the results and, in order to market the publication, I am asking
friends and family to assist.            &
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The book is on golf... I believe it gives the reader valuable playing tips
and insider information that I have gained through my years of experience.
The book is only £29.95 and can be ordered by simply replying to this
email with the appropriate credit card info. It is worth every cent,
particularly for the effort I have put into Chapter 12!!!            &nb
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Highlights include            &
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C
hapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt            &nbs
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Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Maxfli from the Rough When You Hit a Titleist from the Tee
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Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker (also see Chapter 8)
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Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank            &nb
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Chapt
er 5 - When to Give the Ranger the Finger            &n
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Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings
Chapte
r 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management           &nbs
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Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m.            &nbs
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Chapter 9 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
Chapter 10- How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee
Chapt
er 11- When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
Chapter 12- When to Re-grip Your Ball Retriever
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Also includes the latest GOLF terms            &nb
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A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole            &nbs
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A Diego Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer            &n
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A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read            &nbs
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A Rio Ferdinand - lipped out
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A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't           &nbs
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A Cuban - needs one more revolution           &nbs
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An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
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An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker            &n
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A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand            &nbs
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A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect            &
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sp;A Kate Moss - a bit thin            &nbs
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A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional           &nb
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Rodney King - over-clubbed           &n
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An O. J. Simpson - got away with it
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p;A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver            &n
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A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver            &n
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A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
An elephant's arse - high and shitty            &n
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A condom - safe but didn't feel real good            &nbs
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A circus tent - a BIG top
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An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
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A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target            &n
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A sister-in-law - up there but I know that I shouldn't be

Last edit : Tue 3rd Aug 2010 10:07

Post reply

David Homer

Handicap : 14.1

Reply : Tue 3rd Aug 2010 09:27

Nice work Dave very funny. The lady Di one got a sharp in take of breath and a tut!

Post reply

Wayne Santorini

Handicap : 0

Reply : Tue 3rd Aug 2010 09:58

Shouldn't cut and paste either Dave, it doesn't cross over well

Post reply

Dave ley

Handicap : 9.7

Reply : Tue 3rd Aug 2010 10:16

Not sure whats happen there , but it is only the first book i have written

Post reply

David Marshall

Handicap : 9.9

Reply : Tue 3rd Aug 2010 10:49

You are missing two chapters..Or perhaps even a novel..

1.. How I got out driven by a senile old coot..

2. How to enter as many Regional Qualifiers as possible and still not get in

Post reply

Chris Perry

[FORUM MODERATOR]
Handicap : 13.4

Reply : Tue 3rd Aug 2010 10:54

Dave, he also forgot

3. How to lose on countback to a bandit masquerading off 16.6

Post reply

Loud Mouth b.a.

Handicap :

Reply : Tue 3rd Aug 2010 20:01

Dave,

Good luck with this venture.

Darren will hopefully be able to fix your first post if you e-m it to him.

If you send me a complimentary copy I will write you up a professional review if you wish. But, possibly you may already have one or more 'names' already lined up to do this.

I would particularly like to read the chapter on shanking for more distance as it could be exactly what I need.