Caption Competition: Course Repairs


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Caption Competition: Course Repairs

Darren Ramowski

[FORUM MODERATOR]
Handicap : 21

Posted : Tue 13th Jul 2010 11:37



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Wayne Santorini


Handicap : 0

Reply : Tue 13th Jul 2010 14:22
Right lads the JCB is an "unmoveable object" !!!
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Darren Millichip


Handicap : 7.8

Reply : Tue 13th Jul 2010 14:26
Its ok wayne you can tee off he is well out of your range!!!
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David Marshall


Handicap : 9.9

Reply : Tue 13th Jul 2010 15:55

Repairs begin on divots caused by Govan.

The work is expected to take several months to complete. Mainly because he has only just reached the 9th tee

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John Flood


Handicap : 11.9

Reply : Tue 13th Jul 2010 16:08
Powakaddy release their new buggy designed to cope with even the most demanding of terrains.
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Matt Simmons


Handicap : 19.7

Reply : Tue 13th Jul 2010 16:08
The new Powacaddy XI. With built in divot repair tool
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Loud Mouth b.a.


Handicap :

Reply : Tue 13th Jul 2010 16:08
"Once all of this year's membership fees have been paid we'll let them know that the new 'footpath' is in fact the M98."
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Russell Middleton

[FORUM MODERATOR]
Handicap : 14.8

Reply : Tue 13th Jul 2010 16:52
Those new robot golfer machines are getting bigger and stronger!
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David Lythgoe

[FORUM MODERATOR]
Handicap : 2

Reply : Tue 13th Jul 2010 21:04

I thought he asked if I could drive the 16th, not could he put a drive through 16.

TheLyth

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Chris Brannon


Handicap : 12.4

Reply : Tue 13th Jul 2010 21:14
New 9 hole family Golf attraction opens at Diggerland (....yes there is such a place!)
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John Flood


Handicap : 11.9

Reply : Tue 13th Jul 2010 22:06
When the Millichips discovered that you could remove loose items from a bunker they took full advantage of it
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Wayne Santorini


Handicap : 0

Reply : Tue 13th Jul 2010 22:08
I love that one Floody
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Darren Millichip


Handicap : 7.8

Reply : Wed 14th Jul 2010 06:21
lolololololol nice one floody
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David Ross


Handicap : 8.9

Reply : Wed 14th Jul 2010 07:32
 Hmmm! The cart path is a bit wider than we expected Major !!!!!!!!!!!!
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Colin Coote


Handicap : 20.1

Reply : Wed 14th Jul 2010 08:18
good morning, you join us here on the 18th and final hole of the JCB open and the leader of the group is Bob the Builder using a set of CATs, he is about to dig out a shot here, Bob has taken a wide stance and swings his CAT hard and oh no he hits it in the teeth, but no wait, Bob is a resourseful builder and he scoops the ball up and heads down the middle of the fairway oh dear Bob has just run over the balls of his playing partner Spud shame they were still in the bag, what a pilchard.  That has got to be the worst drive ever.
Post reply

Loud Mouth b.a.


Handicap :

Reply : Wed 14th Jul 2010 09:44

Colin,

That's cheating. Your 'caption' is the longest ever written in history so you have the rest of us at a disadvantage. I know that you badly want the first prize of those new Cobra S2 graphite shafted irons but there are limits!

I hear that you play the best of two golf balls out on the course, but this is not easy going golf but serious top flight competitive writing!  

    Referee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAPTION:

'A title or brief explanation appended to an illustration, cartoon, etc.' 

Last edit : Wed 14th Jul 2010 11:57
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Dave ley


Handicap : 9.7

Reply : Wed 14th Jul 2010 11:51
The national fairway widening scheme is well underway as apparently not many people can hit 80yrd wide fairways!!
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Colin Coote


Handicap : 20.1

Reply : Wed 14th Jul 2010 15:12

I think i should play a provisional here just in case i get a Penalty.

I know I told you to make allowances for the ladies who can't drive straight, but i didn't bloody mean for you to build a 4-lane 30 foot wide buggy path.

 

Fellow golfers we need to send our thanks to Sanders Longdrive who it appears is kindly providing the first prize of those new Cobra S2 graphite shafted irons!

Drinks all round

 

Last edit : Wed 14th Jul 2010 15:13
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Lee Ward


Handicap : 20.5

Reply : Wed 14th Jul 2010 15:42
With winter aproaching, can we remind all buggies to stick to the paths please
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Stuart Govan


Handicap : 11.5

Reply : Wed 14th Jul 2010 17:20

Repairs begin on the divot (singular) caused by Marshall.

That brown strip's almost as big as your divot. Except unlike yours it's pointing forward in a straight line.

Post reply

Colin Coote


Handicap : 20.1

Reply : Wed 14th Jul 2010 18:20

better play a 2nd provisional just in case i incur a sexist penalty

Bloody hell mate, when you approached me for permission to run a comp specially for Aussie Diggers i thought you meant it was for members of your armed forces, you never told me it was for any Aussie with a shovel.

 

Post reply

John Pettitt


Handicap : 18

Reply : Wed 14th Jul 2010 19:01
I don't know, in the old days they would have only needed a 1RB.
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Colin Coote


Handicap : 20.1

Reply : Thu 15th Jul 2010 08:00

hells thats old John, i had to look RB up.

just for you John

I definitely heard the club secretary scream at the greens keeper DRAT the fairway when his ball ran to the bottom of the hill,  not DROT the fairway!

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John Pettitt


Handicap : 18

Reply : Thu 15th Jul 2010 09:17
Well I am old, Colin and I can only remember things from a long while ago.
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Chris Perry

[FORUM MODERATOR]
Handicap : 13.4

Reply : Thu 15th Jul 2010 10:36
On the 4th tee, John Pettit turns to his playing partners and bemoans how modern technology is making it far too easy for golfers to recover from a difficult lie
Post reply

Loud Mouth b.a.


Handicap :

Reply : Thu 15th Jul 2010 20:11

That's more like it Colin, but how many goes have you paid for?    

I understood that the prize was Darren's no. 3 (public course) set of irons!  You wouldn't want my irons. I built them myself and the shafts bend almost as much as those used by Corky the Cat. How else can a zimmer hit the ball so far?

Last edit : Thu 15th Jul 2010 20:13
Post reply

Colin Coote


Handicap : 20.1

Reply : Fri 16th Jul 2010 09:18

You have to pay!

Damn, Darren, you've been rumbled, i told you it would be too good to last.

Its a crying shame you should have to find out about favouritism in this way, but hey, look on the bright side, you were the only one who has ever paid.

And as for playing the best of 2 balls at every hole, that is the proper way to play golf isn't it? I was told to play 2 balls and then add both scores together and half it to find what score to put on your card! I always wondered why i was the only one with fractions on a card.

I'm going to be gutted if that is wrong, all these years wasted, every week losing £20 to may mates when i could have been winning.

lol

 

Last edit : Fri 16th Jul 2010 09:19
Post reply

Loud Mouth b.a.


Handicap :

Reply : Fri 16th Jul 2010 12:54

Nice one Colin.

I only tease those I love so wickedly. 

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Colin Coote


Handicap : 20.1

Reply : Fri 16th Jul 2010 13:23

you told me you would never tell anyone and it was to be our little secret!

did you also lie by saying i was the first, the best and the last!

next thing you'll tell me is that your Longdrive is just a cul-de-sac.

you know how to break ones' heart, how can i ever trust you again?

With you it's been 'All or nothing', i kept telling you accuracy was everything but would you listen, NO.

Thats it i've had enough, i'm leaving you for someone who can give me a better and softer touch around the greens.  

The next time I listen to our favourite singer Don McLean singing 'Our Tune' CRYING i'll be thinking of you and what we had together and I will always think of you as being such a f... u....... f....... l... p...... o. a...., i don't know if the other words are in the dictionary 

Blankety Blank was your favourite program,fill in the blanks yourself, i'm going back to someone who really appreciate me.

Last edit : Fri 16th Jul 2010 13:24
Post reply

Loud Mouth b.a.


Handicap :

Reply : Fri 16th Jul 2010 13:35

Colin,

Your writing talent is extraordinary, but I fear that we both must desist from drinking tap water further before one or both of us becomes too happy.  

 

Post reply

Colin Coote


Handicap : 20.1

Reply : Fri 16th Jul 2010 15:09

i agree,

What you'll find is that if you dilute your water with whiskey you will be happy.

Alas, may we never return to how we once were.

Adieu 

Last edit : Fri 16th Jul 2010 15:10
Post reply

Matt Simmons


Handicap : 19.7

Reply : Fri 16th Jul 2010 18:54
Darren makes it to the SW qualifier despite having car troubles. Proper commitment...
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Alan Gunnigle


Handicap : 10.7

Reply : Sat 17th Jul 2010 11:55
course planners are still having trouble getting that water hazard to run up-hill
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Colin Coote


Handicap : 20.1

Reply : Sat 17th Jul 2010 16:05
The southerners are so tired of constantly losing to the northerners that they've finally laid the footings for the great north/south dividing wall.
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John Payne


Handicap : 24.8

Reply : Tue 27th Jul 2010 20:21
Thanks for all the captions. The photo, taken in May, (note the Hawthorn blossom), was taken from behind the 8th tee at The County Golf Club, at The Rosebowl, Southampton. Work is in progress to give us a superb 18 holes, (only 9 at present with different tees for the 18). The road , which winds its way right across the course from the 2nd tee  to disappear behind the 8th tee, is a cricket traffic relief road. It is even more fun now, with 8 wheel tippers constantly appearing over the hill, they do hold back when they see someone about to tee-off, (chicken). I'll keep my box brownie hanging on my trolley and see if I can find another unusual one.
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