What's going on here then....

I think it's faulty, here you try it!

This is my super soft flex mr whippy shaft. You wouldn't believe I hit a ball 5 minutes ago and it's still vibrating.

My wife wants me to buy her a set for Christmas. And she doesn't even play golf

Its the new Senior Citizen Calloway Club. You just line it up behind the ball, press the button like so and bingo... it swings itself.

Dave " Give us your keys"   JP "Take a chance Punk"  Dave  "Look there's no need to get violent ,I only want your keys as my golf shoes are still in the boot!!"

If you ever hit the ball that far past mine again mr ley and you will be wearing this club !!!!!

Dave, is this what you meant when you said darren m's shirt needed a good iron

"Either the heads on back to front or the Range is pointing the wrong way!"

"Dave can you take a look at my swing for me ",

" No probs John,which part of the net have you been hitting?"

" I havn't  actually reached the net yet"    

Dave: Come on now don’t be silly, boyo, hand it over, its not worth it, life’s too short, we can help you!!!!!

John: Keep away, don’t come any nearer, It’s those bloody handicaps, the rules, the new drivers, my hips, my knees, my god those b b b b b b bandits, and there’s no buggies left, help me!!!!!!!!!!!

"If you tell me to bend my knees once more, am gonna shove this were the sun don't shine"

"Now this is called a 'pitching wedge' Dave.  You use it for your short game"

"What's a short game John?"

You keep your mucky hands off my stiff shaft you randy welsh git

Look here 'taffy' I know Simon Overlands' mate has lost his Callaway X14 7 iron, but you ain't getting mine to give to him.

And you can tell that Marshall bloke, i'm not giving up golf one club at a time either.

I can still show you whipper snappers a thing or two about this game and how to play it.

Are my feet in alignment Dave I can't see the buggars!!!

Pot/Kettle Waynetta 

I'll have you know I've lost nearly a stone

Only another 2 or 3 to go then, before you can start to see your feet again and other bits

Dave did you know you've still got your name tag from the hospital on your wrist??

How else do you think I can remember who I am??

You told me you wasn't going to wear grey trousers today.........