mental game and how to cope?

Just wondered if you knew of any books or have any tips to help solve this.
I have i think 3 problems and i think there all mental.
first one is when i play in a compertition that i have a good chance of winning ( dont want to sound big  headed) but you know like a 19-28 handicapp comp where theres only 15 entrants  or the rabbits. i always play really bad and its been getting worse that im scared ( petrified to hit the ball ) wether its on the tee an approach shot or a putt. But when im out for a knock or in a copertition that i have no chance of winning i play really well.

The second on is my playing partner when we play doubles he is very competative. and wants to do well which is fair enough but he puts to much pressure on me causing me to again tense up and play badly.

And third which i just noticed yesterday was out with a 8 handicapper was how much playing with him i had time to look at the shot take a practice swing and hit a nice shot.  he was nerver talking to me when i was preparing to swing, and was never walking down the fairway infront of me when it was my turn. and i noticed how i was never rushed.
Where as when i play the people who i play with are always talking to me when im trying to prepare, seam to rush to the ball and i fell like im slowing them down if i take a practice swing and asses the shot. almost like i have to get the club out of the bag when i put the last one in before i get to the ball. and there always walking to there ball infront of me when im taking my shot, I dont mind if there out of eye line or like walking down in the rough but on the fairway infront of me!

Help  

Well, the first one I would just say relax and keep entering the comps. You will soon get used to how they feel and therefore feel more comfortable.

Your next two are easy - tell your playing partners to chill and just take your time. I used to know someone that always rushed ahead of me - until I thinned a shot and hit him in the knee.

He stays with me now

First one...forget about trying to win just take one shot at a time and tot up at the end of play...

Second one...If your partner is that keen to win he needs to contribute more - suggest lessons..

Third one...Blinkers and ear muffs. failing that if they are stupid enough to do those things then you need to ignore and focus purely on you and the ball and the plan.

That's gamesmanship Matt.  They are doing it to put you off.  Tell them to stop doing it and if they do it again that round, tell them you're taking a mulligan as you had already warned them.  They'll argue but stick to your guns and they'll soon stop doing it. 

Ditto Paul mate, you need to dump the fella, you won't be the first to do it nor will you be the last, if it's who I think it is, get a propper partner.

Who is it ya thinking it is ...

Go on tell all......

That is great Matt.

Advice while youre playing can be off putting (no pun intended ) however after the game it can be only good!!

There is a guy called JDH up at Southmoor who is always looking for a partner.

He is a good player and you could maybe do a few opens with him...

So ya dumped and partnerless and lonely and in need of love and attention and someone to walk the fairways in peace with...

Anybody got labrador puppies for sale...........

Oh right yes, I am with you now. I know what ya mean...

he moved on due to being held back.......

Matt

Two good books by Dr Bob Rotella.

Golf is not a game of perfect - read over Christmas - very good