Golf forum

I think i can help here, the word you were looking for is Avatar and this can be added from within your profile at the very top of the page.

Hopefully you both get back on speaking terms

Colin

Yep you should be able to find a link from the setting link at the top of the page.  This will allow you to access your golf info aspect for this site.  Also I think it's linked for yourself from the view profile page which is also linked at the top.

A bit over touchy if you ask me.

Spelling mistakes and grammatical errors are always fair game for a joke in my opinion.

You know my views on spelling mistakes, situation is getting worse and I blame the Education system.

Numpties teaching Numpties!!!!!!!!!!

John, you sure you wanted that comma after Exactly, or been with three e's?

And Antony, kudos on the handicap.  It's a good handicap for a child.

 "Then learn to spell, idiot."

Surely anyone who can spell Aviator can spell Idiot John.

no john had a lot to say about upsetting my wife but whoever mediates the forum  blanked the reply hope to meet you soon

Well, I thought John's post was hilarious, made me actually laugh out loud.

I think it should have just been taken as a joke, because it was a harmless jibe over a typo, although now he has insulted your wife and your Shaolin Temple or something, oh the melodrama.

Damn! Why do I always arrive late for an argument????

For the record - I'm with JP on this one - I thought I'd never seen the day!!

Lol

Thank you both, Dave and Gareth, it appears that Anthony has had a humour bypass and then attempted to lay the blame at the feet of his wife.

I missed it to Dave.  Have we got mediators now? B ll cks

Here are 9 aviators for you 

No-one can beat J.P. for spreading hummus. It is sometimes so funny you can almost taste it. 

A few years ago I ran a firm of solicitors in Northampton. I gradually sacked everyone (yes literally everyone, except my wife and bookkeeper) because absolutely no one could spell and letters were unfit to leave the office. The chap who possessed an M.A. in English was particularly awful.

I ended up doing all my own typing (or 'word processing' as it is now called) and it was not unusual for me to start work at 3.30 a.m.  Stress started to turn into madness, but eventually I found an innocent to buy the firm.

I then re-trained as a clinical hypnotherapist and initially started working with the mentally unbalanced (who incidentally were far better spellers than most  workers within the legal profession, and arguably more balanced than they) and, although remaining unbalanced myself, the pressure of accurate spelling was largely removed  from my life.

Nowadays I tend to ignore appalling spelling and grammar but, just like John, sometimes have an  irresistible urge to introduce humour.  A few days ago I could not help myself when someone wrote on a golf forum that they were having trouble with their driving notwithstanding that they had their left heel directly over the ball. Classic.

John and I mean no harm with our humour and are pleased to be called 'tossers.' Notwithstanding that both of us are blessed with incredibly beautiful wives we are both chronically oversexed and the compulsion to excessively masturbate can at times be overwhelming.  But, how is this known as we do not publicize it? Was one of us spotted?

For anyone not having a clue what I am talking about: Although the Oxford English Reference Dictionary defines 'tosser' as meaning 'an unpleasant or contemptible person' I believe that the origin of such coarse English arose from the earlier slang phrase, namely to 'toss off' or masturbate. I may be wrong but I believe that the noun 'tosser'  followed shortly after that unfortunate phrase was first  introduced by schoolboys.   

So, just as humour can be humour for humour's sake (not a backhanded swipe at anyone) slang can likewise be complimentary. Things are not always what they appear to be.

I hope that John and I remain active tossers twenty years on. But keep this to yourself.   

P.S. Please excuse any spelling mistakes. It is almost inevitable that when one writes about spelling one slips up oneself! 

Antony - we await your apology.....

(actually, shouldn't it be Anthony?)

Kiss of death John. But, certainly bring along some pop - preferably dandelion and burdock as you said that you were buying.

John,

I would LOVE to come and stay with you sometime and maybe play a few holes together. I have played little since I last saw you as I have been battling with gym injuries, and my new LD swing, and testing piles of equipment - some of which is now in my eBay store! Take off the plastic and it becomes second hand, and the pounds fly out the window. (Extremely expensive job finding that final 3 yards).

Unfortunately I must decline for Farnham though I am bringing a car full of friends / relatives most of which are arriving at my home at dawn on Saturday.  But, it is greatly appreciated that you asked.

We often speak of you both in our home and are saddened by the fact that you both, our good friends, are so far away.

Hopefully Farham will provide a venue to re-unite? We hope so. (If Mrs. S. is not tied up with her projects).  Anyway, I'll be there,  as hopefully will be  many of Europe's young macho men  for us all to gasp at in awe.

Farnham is one of the few fair flat L.D. venues, and the only place where I personally have competed on an American sized practice ground. If only all clubs had such great practice facilities it would be wonderful!  

See you soon John, and don't forget the D.& B!

P.S. Always best to e/m me direct as I jump out of these forums even quicker than I jump in, and sometimes never return. 

I look forward to that John. Morning qualifiers are great. Buy as many six ball packs as time permits (depends how many turn up) and no serious pressure. I recall my first qualifier (in Rome) last year and struggling to see the ball in the afternoon's finals as my eyes had gone into a flicker in the absence of sun specs. Farnham however is a different proposition; Last year we would have needed flippers if the comp. had been staged a few days earlier.  I'll get all optional gear together but of course always carry a list of excuses as long as my arm  in case things do not work out, and they often don't.  There is of course a L.D. war being fought at the moment between the two key organisations and tin hats may be the order of the day.

I invite all forum big hitters, and aspiring big hitters, to turn up and have a go. It is good to have one's hits properly measured, but it can be a shock as golf course hole measurements can be inflationary.   Get through 300 yards and you are a very serious hitter. Go through 330 yards and arguably  you are world class. 

Let's see who is brave enough to lay it on the grass line, instead of the chat line. 

Hello David,

Lovely to hear about your great family. Your baby is a magnet and very pickupable, with parents' consent. Hitting 60 yards at 6 years old- amazing! I would LOVE to see that!

Paul Glazier was a stroke of luck for me: When I wandered into strikerightgolf confused and at a loss to know how to stop my drives flying anywhere but straight I discovered that (extremely luckily) the owner John Whitehead was PG's club builder. He set me on the right path and introduced me to Paul. I travelled to Italy with Paul last year (my first. LD comp.) and he showed me the ropes. It is nice to have a friend when entering a new strange world. 

Paul is one of the founders of the new European L.D. group and in the middle of the present war which is taking place. Prudence persuades me to say no more as L.D. is a political hotbed at the moment.

European Long Drivers are presently 'sleeping in two beds'  which most of us find uncomfortable. The main thing is that the sport continues to grow and L.D. in Europe needs a massive shake up.    

David, I must agree with Viper that your baby daughter is indeed very beautiful.

I can play almost anytime so it all depends on when Mr Marshall wants to come out to play, then I will know a date and hope you can join us.

I'll be there John.

Now, Tim Hawkins said he wanted to play too.  I'll send him a message and ask if he wants to join us. If that is O.K. with you? 

David, I am flexible as I play Mondays and Thursdays anyway, so the following week would not be a problem to me nor I suspect, DM. Mondays is the Waterloo which is shorter of the two courses but as David will tell you it is a very good test of ones accuracy. Thursdays is The Wellington, which is longer but more forgiving off the tee but still a very good test.

Just a question of you three agreeing a day and I will fit in.

I can't believe how off-topic you've all taken this!

There's no talk of pilots, and barely a spelling mistake at all!  I hope you're all very ashamed of yourselves!

Who is that vision of loveliness - Wayne's girlfriend?  It's not good for my old heart on a Monday morning and should come with a health warning!

The older one gets in life the more innocent one becomes as we oldies tend to lead clear and straightforward lives. Until a few months ago I assumed that all aviators (I love that word) were likenesses of forum contributors. Consequently I made the mistake of calling Lee, a giant hulk, "Dear" but he did not appear to be too offended. Us old tossers get thumped less with each  passing year.  It's one of the few advantages which  coffin polishers have in life. 

As I've not received a cheque from JP I'll put in a word for Antony as it's no fun being shredded, particularly when young:

I unsuccessfully tried many times to upload an aviator (language is constantly evolving) both a few months ago and more recently. I've tried many permutations (all falling within the site's size limits) down to 49.50 kb jpeg. It's easy peasy uploading an aviator; the system says 'successfully uploaded;' one then skips the opportunity to upload even more photos; there appears to be no buttons to press other than 'SUBMIT' in the bottom RH corner of the page; you press it; the golf ball remains!  

I can only assume that the system has the advanced NTNA filtration system, and that I got caught in it? (For those who are computer illiterate the NTNA system is the 'No Toupee No Aviator' inbound filtration system).

Viper once you click submit click on refresh and you should see your new piccy appear accordingly.

my Aviator is "Natalie" whom no doubt your aware of but mostly see her in shorts and crop top

I too am at an age where it takes me all night to think about what I used to do all night

Thanks Wayne.  Unfortunately I have no idea as to how to access the 'refresh' button. I know that on eBay such a labelled button infrequently appears but this site's refresh button is only visible to those in the know, Is is represented by a symbol? I suspect that my images have gone into an on-site image saving photo library, rather than direct to my aviator. By way of a totally different question: How are such multiple saved images accessed?

I regret that I have not had the pleasure of being formally introduded to Miss Natalie. Maybe she is a popular pin up girl?  Maybe in 'The Sun?' I have heard of Katie Price, beyond that lies unmitigated ignorance. Sorry. She could be a golfer. There are some very beautiful lady golfers on tour,

I think that I will upload a vision of loveliness (instead of my ugly mush) once I have learnt to fly. I think that my pin up is even prettier than yours. Once I get mine on line maybe we should put it to the vote? (I'm so competitive).

I am sure that this is an easy site once one has cracked it, but rest assured that to a stranger coming to it with fresh eyes it is extremely difficult compared with other golf forums.  

Antony,

Here is how to add an Aviator:

1.  Prepare your photo so that it is no more than 50kb which is a strict size limit.

2.  Open up golfshake.com main page.

3.   Go to 'Edit Profile.'

4.   Go to 'Golf Info.'

5.   Go to 'Player Photo.'

6.  Upload.

All other photo upload routes seem to send your photies to an inacessible photo library.

NATALIE versus CANDICE

I am pleased to have now uploaded my pin up girl Candice who, in my humble opinion, is even more gorgeous than Wayne's pin up. OK, his girl is pretty, but nevertheless a sad reflection of ripened womanhood compared to my angel.  

Votes below please. Comp. closes midnight tomorrow. Remember it's the girl you are voting for, not for either of us.

Antony, which girl do you prefer? Remember, their names are 'Natalie' and 'Candice.' If you vote 'Tosser' then yours will be a spoilt ballot and not count as neither me or JP are entrants.  

David,

I'm not telling you. Candice should never ever be referred to as 'that.' You didn't even give her your vote! (I give out far too much free expert advice, and it's taken me years to get to the bottom of the pile in computer programming). 

ADDENDUM 4th JULY

Candice, having received no votes, is in tatters. She asked for her photo to be removed and naturally I have acquiesced in her request.