a lil old funny !!

A man and his secretary are having an affair, so one afternoon they get a motel room and have strenuous sex.

He's not used to the pace, so he falls asleep afterwards and doesn't wake up until about 8:30 that night, at which time he realizes it's late and that he has to get home.

He says to his secretary, "Quick! While I get dressed, you take my shoes outside and drag them around through the grass and mud."

Puzzled, the secretary complies. When the man gets home about 9:30 his wife confronts him and asks him where he's been.

The man says, "I cannot lie to you. I spent the better part of the day doing my secretary in a motel room, then I fell asleep, woke up later, and came right home."

The woman looks down at his shoes and says, "You lying *******, you've been out playing golf again!"

Here's a short one I heard recently:-

A man gets home from his weekly round of golf, to be greeted by his wife, who says "Hello darling, how was the golf today?"  The man doesn't reply, he just hits her.  She says "Why did you do that?"

He replies - "I've been hitting everything fat today!"

A husband and wife are playing their regular Sunday round of Golf..They are celebrating 25 years of marriage and the wife thinks it would be a good idea to confess one secret.

The husband explains that he had an affair very early in their marriage and the wife forgives him saying they have been happy for the other 24 odd years.

The wife then confesses to her husband that before they met she was a man and had a sex change..

The husband breaks down and then goes into a rage. "It's not so bad" says the wife "we have had a good marriage and we love each other".

"It's not that" says the husband, "I just can't believe that for all these years I have let you play off the red tees"