Celebrating Golfer Man Boobs on National Cleavage Day

Post by Sports Writer Derek Clements

Today is National Cleavage Day. Now we know what you are thinking - you are thinking that we are going to use it as an excuse to publish a gratuitous picture of Natalie Gulbis, don't you? Would we? (Of course we would - Ed).

No, we thought it might be fun top have a look at some - how can we put this politely? - overweight golfers and how they might qualify for a starring role on National Cleavage Day. Tiger Woods might well have change the attitude of professional golfers towards fitness, but not ALL professional golfers.

In 2008, Jack Vettriano, the renowned Scottish artist, claimed that he turned down a commission to paint Colin Montgomerie – because he did not “do men with breasts”. Vettriano told a meeting of art lovers that he had rejected the request for a portrait by the National Galleries of Scotland. Monty was not unduly concerned. His manager, Guy Kinnings said that Monty was untroubled by the remark and that, in any case, he didn't know who Vettriano was. For his part, Vettriano said: “I have to paint a face I like. Have you seen Colin Montgomerie’s face recently?” It is hard to argue with Vettriano - Montgomerie does have man boobs. Period. Substantial man boobs.

Former US PGA champion Steve Elikington once said that he wanted to see Annika Sorenstam partnered with Phil Mickelson and Monty so that he see whose boobs bounced the most. MIckelson may not have terribly prominent man boobs these days, but he most certainly did about 10 years ago.

There once was a time, albeit briefly, when the thing that attracted us to John Daly was his prodigious talent, combined with the huge distances he hit the golf ball. He won two majors but has largely wasted his career and talent, choosing to drink vast amounts of alcohol and consume junk food for fun - it is a combination that has helped The Wild Thing to turn into The Man Boobs Thing.

You would have thought that seeing how his father turned out might have acted as some kind of warning or alarm call for Kevin Stadler, but no. In his prime, Craig Stadler probably sported the meanest face and the largest man boobs in professional golf. He may well have claimed to be "naturally big-boned", but you can be absolutely certain that The Walrus was not a huge fan of salad. And nor, by the looks of it, is his son. One good thing, however - Kev can wear his father's man boobs bra cast-offs.

Running The Walrus a close second is Tim Herron, affectionately known throughout his playing career as Lumpy. And he was. And he still is. If you think that Pamela Anderson is, ahem, well developed up top, then you want to take a peek at Herron. Or maybe you don't!

If man boobs are your thing, you can buy a key ring with the words "I love man boobs". And, as an added bonus, it doubles up as a ball marker.

And don't worry. If man boobs are not your thing, you could always go on a diet. Apparently, lettuce is good for you!