Hi All,

Just a quick post. Does anyone know Stuart Govan. Does Stuart Govan play slow, as I have been led to believe. Played with Stuart twice over the past two weeks, really enjoyed it, nice bloke, but when we finished 18 holes, I had a miner's helmet on, soooo sloowww. I know he is the Champ, Reigning At Portugal (CRAP for short), but no, on a serious note, Great Golfer, Great Bloke, but sooooo slooowww. Thanks Stuart, still cannot putt though.

Is this the person you know and recognise. Any replies would be greatly appreciated and passed on.

 

I saw a sociey of tortoises complain to the marshall about Govan's pace of play once

Perry  That should be marshal  with just the one L..

There is only ONE Marshall............

 

And as for Govan is concerned..Sorry John...Never heard of him. Did hear he was on the same Algarve trip as me the last 3 times that I have been there. But by the time he landed and got to the hotel, the rest of the group had had a weeks golf and were on the way back to England

To All,

Glad to see we are all talking about the same Stuart. Did the tortoises have miner's helmets on.

Been told the best way to play with Stuart is to let himplay 16 holes before you join him. That way you can catch him up just as he is about to walk to the 18th tee

looks like he's found another victim boys we feel for you john.

There's one born every minute     

You are so right, I was unaware of his reputation, but having spoken to him, he tell's me he is the victim of all your banter.

He is?....I thought that honour went to Santo

Or perhaps,  David (I can't drive the ball as far as that @@@@@@@ Marshall) Ley

Marshall you just broke an AUP rule you will get an ASBo john i don't know about stewart is a victim he love's it ,it's like a badge of Honour!

I break all the rules Mr Ley..You should know that. And as for AUP or ASBo .....

 

My reply is     ICGAFF

Enjoyed his company, but got fed up with the bragging rights. Champ of Portugal. Said he played with a load of old foggies, not sure what he meant. Did he send you all to sleep on the course,

Bragging rights??  Govan ????   PMSL

 

The stories we could tell about him......................

If you knew him better you will find out he has a speech impediment.

 

It's NOT Champ of Portugal.............It's CHUMP of Portugal

John, you need to learn who to listen to on here.

Ignore Perry... he's still pissed off that I scooped first prize at his Belfry event

Ignore Ley... he's still pissed off that I won nearest the pin and longest drive at his South West Qualifer

Ignore Marshall... everyone else does

Listen to me and you'll learn how to play good golf at the correct measured pace

Three things you didn't know about John Sweeney:

Brilliant putter: just as well since his par putts are never less than 50 ft

Straight to right ball flight: also known as a shank

Favourite number: seven

Things you need to know about Govan

1. He often turns up late as he gets lost easily

2. He has difficulty drivig as far as, or past, the Ladies tees

3. He turns up in The Algarve without any golf balls

4. He's an idiot

5. He relies on Simon Battery to get him out of the crap as his playing partner

6. Nobody wants to share a room with him

7. He's an idiot

8. He mumbles to himself

I think you forgot to list  he's an "idiot" Gov, glad you didn't list all the things you haven't achieved it would be like reading War and Peace!!  Gov, how are you mate glad you've found yourself a chum, you might leave us alone now  

Oh if only Leyo

Dream on boys

The last two rounds with John were warm ups for the South East Qualifier, and have helped push my handicap up to 12.

Ask the Perry Ranger what happened last time I got an extra shot just before a GolfShake event

Of course we know him. He's a top Ball Crushers' Club member!

Once Stuart moves permanently re-locates into the Longdrive camp there will be no problem over slow play. He'll have his 2 mins. 45 secs. standing in the same place, and fit in perfectly well.

There's so much jealousy from those failing to make the cut into the club. 

P.S. Quite a number of club members have failed to sign up. If you have been crushing balls then your shoddiness is excused.       

This wasn't supposed to happen.

Had been building my handicap up nicely to 11.5, giving me 12 shots on Sunday.

Went out last night and played three balls, all of them well. Three scores of 79, 81 and 82. Down to 10.5 and back where I started, playing off 11.

Only an idiot would do that

You said it Stuart.

I'm sure there must be a rule somewhere that states you can't play a 3 ball by yourself. Let alone enter all 3 scores in one day.

02-Aug-2010Stevenage Golf Centre - Bragbury CourseYellow727182010.502-Aug-2010Stevenage Golf Centre - Bragbury CourseYellow727181-0.210.502-Aug-2010Stevenage Golf Centre - Bragbury CourseYellow727179-0.810.7

 

Then I guess you have run out of playing partners

Imagine playing behind that it's bad enough when he plays one ball!!! and yes you're still an idiot!

I only do it when the course is empty.

Okay Leyo, how long did I take to play three balls?

About 20 minutes each is your usual.  Then walk off the tee towards the trees to find them

The round in total, Perry, you muppet

Well... My record for 18 holes, playing just 1 ball, on a partially empty course, and having to wait a couple of times to be let through is 2 hours 21 minutes.

 

Now..This is Govan we are talking about here...

So my guess would be around 3 hours 10 minutes

is that for the front 9 Dave

No.....Per hole

ohhhh reminds me of the "Grumbleweeds" sketch they did like that

Pretty close but not close enough. But was I more or less than 3 hours 10?

MORE....

 

LOTS LOTS MORE

MORE

Both wrong. Three hours on the nose. Playing with three balls, and a practice swing before each stroke.

You're just too proud to admit the painful truth: that I'm actually faster than the lot of you

Did they get a chance to mow the fairways in between shots Stu?

You never have 1 practice swing, have you now developed octopus arms and classing it as 1 swing????

Octopus? I think you're thinking of Mr Marshall's swing Santo

sure it wasn't 27 hours and you didn't notice the date change Stuart?

I think the clocks went back an hour during his round