One day a man and his wife went golfing, as they frequently did together. They arrived at the 12th hole where the husband promptly hit a tremendous slice that ended up behind an old barn. "I guess I'll just have to play it safe and chip it onto the fairway," said the man.  "No wait," said his wife. "You can hit the ball through the barn."  The man decided to give it a try. But he sliced the ball, which ricocheted off the barn and struck his wife in the head, killing her instantly. The man was distraught and wallowed in his misery for many weeks, depriving himself ofgolf the whole time.  Eventually he relaized that he must face his demons and headed out to the very same golf course to play. Once again he found himself at the 12th hole and once again he hit a slice right behind the very same barn. As he was preparing to hit out safely to the fairway one of the other players in his foursome asked if he wanted to try and hit it through the barn.  "Oh no," replied the man, horrified. "I tried that last time."  "What happened?"  "I shot an 8!"

Smells like spam!!!now why dont you either pay for adverising like everyone else, or go away!!

Deleted the other one, left this one as it was amusing.  I've removed the links though......

Nice one Chris - this one is indeed funny!

An eight! he should take up darts!

Russ

This reminds me of the one about two gents having their usual midweek round. One of the chaps was on the tee just about to start his backswing. He stopped his swing, bowed his head and stood in silence as a funeral hearse and cars passed by on the adjacent road. Once the cars were out of sight he proceeded with his tee shot routine again. His partner stepped upto the tee and said "That was very moving, what you just did." The first player then replied "Well after 20 years of marriage, it was the least I could do!"

 John and Helen met while on vacation, and John fell head over heels
            &nb
sp; in love
    
       JOHN was in Love' with her. But after a couple of weeks in which
            John took Helen out to various dance clubs, restaurants,
            concerts, etc. He was convinced that it was true love.
            And so....on the last night of his vacation, the two of them
            went to dinner and had a serious talk about how the
           relationship would
            continue. 
           
; It's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut, '
            John said to his newfound lady friend. 'I eat, sleep and
            breathe golf, so if that's going to be a problem, you'd better
            say so now!' 
 
          
;  Helen took a deep breath and responded: 'Since
            we're being honest with each other, here goes ... You need to
             know that I'm a hooker' 'I see', John replied. 
 
          
   'That's a problem, for sure.' He spent some time looking 
            down at the table, deep in thought.
            Then he added, 

           &n
bsp;  
          &nbs
p; 'You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists

            straight when you tee off

A lady golfer goes out for a round but gets stung by a bee. She runs back to the pro shop in agony and says to the pro-help me I have just been stung by a bee. The pro asks her where she was stung to which she replies between the first and second hole. The pro replies I think i know what the problem is.

 Your stance is too wide.

Harold had a week off and decided to play golf every day.

Monday morning, he found himself paired with an attractive woman, Annette, who turned out to be a very good golfer.

They started with a few casual bets, but by the back nine it was a full-blown competition.

On the 18th green, Annette sank her long birdie putt for the win. Harold congratulated her and paid off his losses.

Annette asked for a ride home and, on the way, told him, 'You know, Harold, I haven't enjoyed myself so much on the golf course in a long time. In fact, pull over so I can express my appreciation.'

He did, they kissed, and one thing led to another and soon she gave him the best oral sex he'd ever had.

The next morning, they met again on the first tee and played together again. They had another magnificent day, Enjoying each other's company and playing tight, competitive golf.

Again Annette beat him, but she also showed her appreciation on the drive home.

This went on all week, with Harold narrowly losing every day, his male ego bruised, but not unhappy.

On Friday's drive home, Harold said, 'Annette, you've been great to be with all this week and tonight I'd like to return the favour. I made reservations at the best restaurant in town for us and reserved the penthouse suite at the best hotel. What do you say?'

Annette burst into tears. 'I can't!'

'What? Why not?' he asked.

'Because,' she sobbed, 'I'm in the middle of a sex change and the doctor hasn't completed that part of me yet!'

'What?!' Aghast, Harold swerved off the road, screeched to a stop and cursed madly, overcome with emotion.

'I'm so sorry,' says Annette, 'You have a right to be angry with me.'

'You bast...!' Harold screamed, his face bright red. 'You cheating bast...! All week long you've been playing off the women's tees!"