Since we are now within 1 month of the biggest golfing event in the calender and some banter is already flying round other posts

we now have the official north vs south banter forum post below

LET THE BANTER BEGIN

Ok i will go first

When the victorious north team win the trophy again it will be the 3rd yr straight does this mean we can keep the trophy like the brazilians did with the world cup

after all there is no way those shandy drinkers from the south will get anywhere near us

You keep going Darren,

You'll be trudging back up t'north after a serious beating. I'm sure our Captain (who ever the hell that is!!!) would agree.

Daaa daaa da da da, daa daa daaaa da da,  daaa daaa daaa da da daa daa daa daa daaaaaaa.

(tone from the hovis advert)

C'MON THE NORTH

Simon..

I have that honour this year.

And, yes, I agree with you totally.

And as for humming a tune Waynetta.

Colonel Bogey to you, and all team North.

Ah Davina,

Wher have you been. good to see you have the reigns this year. If you need some tips.....

Don't ask me!!!!!

Mr Marshall is looking to join the growing list of losing South team captains

Mr Perry, That hurt!

Your select band will soon be not so select Mr Overland.  It won't be too many years before all you will have to be is a Southerner to be on it!

now sooner or later, maybe, at some point, Us southerners will win and You'll be sorry!

Have you lot down South forgotten that Davina isn't actually entered into the South Team yet????

Therefore he can't be YOUR CAPTAIN 

Perry knows full well that team South will win this year.

The whole of team North can filibuster all they want. They are going down, pure and simple.

&a
mp;a
mp;n
bsp;

End of debate !!

The only "Going Down" we'll be doing pal!!!! is the actual travelling because it's held near Reading

END OF DEBATE looks like the southeners are trying to keep thier loss all hush hush already and weve only just begun

sorry david but it cannot be the end of debate

THE NORTH WILL TRIUMPH

Hey, At lease we get to see some proper golf on the Sunday Evening. Masters is on.

Oh, yeah, and the northerners will see it Monday too watching us Southern Shandy drinkers play.

Just drop the trophy off at mine on the way down Wayne, hardly seems worth wasting the petrol to take it down there and back.

When the North win yet again, may I suggest letting the southern softies play of the ladies tees next year, at least it will give them a chance and keep them interested in playing again.

But before anyone asks it does not include a kiss on the 18 green.

Most play from there already Paul, only it's their "Second Shot"

Correct, Wayne, I like to play my second shot from there as it makes the game a real challenge and usually upsets the opponents when I manage to get a half when they have driven the ball 250 yds.

250yds jp thats just a 4iron for us northeners

   too true John

We may have to take them on at a Skeggy Crazy Golf course next year if they don't manage to keep up with us on a proper course.  

Tim..You don't know how glad I am to hear you say, that this year we will be playing on a PROPER course...!!!!!

And not those Mickey Mouse courses you lot chose to play on, for the past 2 years.

This is why the South will win...Superior course to play on. Superior players for the South team. 

No wonder the Northern woofters are bricking it

You've got as much substance as your "posy" avatar pal

That photo was taken, by the official photographer, whilst driving off on the first hole at the Pinta course this year.

Would also like to point out that the ball went straight down the middle of the fairway and I ended up with an easy par on that hole.

Therefore there was nothing 'posy' about it. It just goes to show that I can actually hit a good shot, on occassion. And have perfect balance and tempo.

And the excuse for your Avatar is????????

No need to answer that Waynetta. We already know

well your spelling is still cr*p !!!!  occassion

My spelling might be cr#p....

My golf is too...Occcasssionaly

Philistine !!!

Ain't that the stuff you take, all the time, to fortify you

Mr Marshall are you playing for your team?

Or is it a case of those who can do... those who can't captain from the side.

You lot stop yer chuntering and try and field a full side! I think we have more reserves than you have players ! Then theres our cheerleaders and groupies.

YA DA,YA DA,YA DA!

"YA DA,YA DA,YA DA!"

not much of a come back!

How about fck *ff y** cckny wnk*r, Simon?

Now that I deem to be an acceptable come back!!!!

ya Fking Northernen Hippy Ct.

Looking forward to a re-match where I sink a thined chip from 40 yds to win the match ! 

The only way you'll do that Simon is if your still playing shi*e

Don't rely on luck Simon - how about one off the hotel roof into the hole?

Simon,

If you only new the half of it! I've already had 2 warning with regard to my "abusive behavour" so trying to get myself in check....... Oh sod it i'll take some of that bait matey!

All you southern ******* are going to get an absolute battering from the mighty north(YES ANOTHER ONE) So just bring it t*** p**,

Paul.

Paul Williams. ...

you cheeky little ####

Just for that I'm going to make you play against somebody, who will well and truly kick your ass into the middle of next year. And after your complete humiliation, I doubt you will ever want to play golf ever again !!!!!  

David,that will happen from any of our team......

"Just for that I'm going to make you play against somebody, who will well and truly kick your ass into the middle of next year. And after your complete humiliation, I doubt you will ever want to play golf ever again !!!!! "

Sorry Dave, I'm playing for the North!  Which of your happy little band do you want me to repeat my 7 & 6 humbling of Mr Williams on?

That was a total fit up and we are aware of the shenanigans that the North are likely to put up in an effort to retain the cup.

Chris,everyone knows you beat a pair of northerner's maskerading as cockney's I can't understand you taking bragging rights from such a shallow win.............

Actually I was bragging about the last time I played Mr Williams - I beat him 7 & 6 on Wednesday. 

I will play whichever pair I'm put up against with whichever partner I am given.  I hope it's a fair, honest and close game in which the best pair on the day wins. 

Nah, stuff that.  I hope that me and my partner stuff the Southerners 8 & 7 

Chris,

If going to tell a tale then tell it straight mate!!!!!!!

I cannot play speed golf fact!!!!!! We teed off at 14:30 on the p.g.a. rushing like mad to get the full 18 in before sunset, both of us was playing SHITE!!!! Just i had the decency to admit it and give up as just speed walking to a ball and hitting it is no fun what so ever fact!

If you wish to call that a beating then so be it, but after 9 holes you knew i couldn't be arsed and by the sheer fact from 150yds i was using a 5 iron to approach,chip and putt should be self explanatory to you???

I will let you bask in your glory as you head swells my friend!!

David M.

Simon was begging for a bite and i couldn't resist thats all fella!

Paul.

As for the record i'm just saving my best form for the North win against the south!!!!    

URGENT MESSAGE  FOR CHRIS PERRY  PAUL WILLIAMS WAYNE SANTORINI TIM HAWKINS  LEE MILLER      AND ALL THE OTHER MISFITS PLAYING FOR THE NORTH            &am
p;nb
sp;   TOLD YOU ALL THAT THE BEST WOULD BE SAVED TILL THE LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT   ALL YOU DOUBTING THOMAS' OUT THERE, IN CLOUD CUCKOO LAND BEWARE      DAVID MARSHALL THE SOUTH TEAM CAPTAIN IS PLAYING IN THIS EVENT

Oh no...

Be nice to see you playing golf David.  Better than the display of putting in the Algarve you put on...

You mean the putting that pushed you into 3rd place????

So even when I can't putt and play like a muppet and give you 10 shots, I can still beat you

Is that what you mean, Tim??

Dave,

Which one of your southern numpties bottled it to make space for you??

"DAVID MARSHALL THE SOUTH TEAM CAPTAIN IS PLAYING IN THIS EVENT"Result.  That's the first match in the bag then.

Exactly Chris.. Totally agree with you...Thank you so much for your congratulations, for me and my playing partner.

Although I doubt your Captain and Wayne will be so magnanimous in their impending defeat.

Well david

having played with you at the belfry, playing like a muppet

you need a little more practice to even compete with the superiority of the fantastic north

i would be quite happy to beat you hmm let me think 10 and 8 would that be an acceptable loss for the south captain

muhahahahahaha

Bring it on Pal.................................

This year is SERIOUS

Darren..

You are quite right..I played like a muppet at The Belfry.   But there was a genuine reason for that.  Now I am feeling a bit better and can move again, so I have 3 weeks to get match fit.

Wayne..My partner and I are looking forward to sorting you and Tim out..AGAIN

Do we have any ideas on the groupings yet?

You want to know who you're going to lose to Simon?

well may as well know who's car to brick in the car park early!

Simon...Check out the South group private message board. I have already replied to your question

If Gaz Cope is playing he'll be able to do that from the greenside bunker on the 18th for you!

Im there. Been off the forum for a while, work and all that. The problem is I haven't played in 3 months. Need a touch of practice before the day.

Seems like the chuntering has stopped .....hmmmm,perhaps their all out doing some well needed practacing.

Practising!!!! The north are practising another winning speech!

Waste of time you won't be needing a speech this year..............Who are you paired with is it Team Munters! he will have a sore back who ever it is.......

I believe that the North may have just received a HUGE boost......

I have just been accepted to play for the South

Dave Ley, i wont love to be able to come back at you and criticise your golf....... unfortunately for me your too bloody good at it to slag you off so..................

B.O.G. OFF AND FIND ANOTHER UWE TO ABUSE

He's good at golf Paul that's true.  But he is Welsh.  

I've just had a message recruiting for the North?

Cant get a full team tgether?

At least I may win my match then.......

Dennis,

we don't need a full team to beat you lot.

lol John.

Ignore them Dennis.. It's just the rantings of a desperate team

Paul,there will be plenty of lambs to the slaughter..............ewe mark my words.

They would be baaaaaaarmy to think they can win

But he is Welsh !!!!!!!

Can I just clarify for everyone that he is not Welsh as the North Walians consider the South Walians "Plastic Welsh"

Likewise scousers consider the Bromsbrough lot "Plastic Scouse" !!!

What's that make you then?

You are from all over the place.

Nah..Hang on..That's like your golf too.  Spookey

Dave,

Its going to be more like a Thomas Harris novel.........................

THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS(ESPECIALLY SOUTHERN WELSH ONES)  

Help needed.

I'm going to the range tonight.

WHAT WAY UP DO THE CLUBS GO?!

Hopefully you are just trying to lull the Northern side into a false sense of security!!!! If not,....bring on the subs!

Well you gentlepeople of the north you best look out....

Played an excellent round this morning that saw my handicap drop by a whole 0.4 of a stroke so I'm now not a 28 handicapper - I'm a 27.6 handicapper!

Can't wait to get the ball in the air and the cup in the trophy in the cabinet.

Bring it on!!!!

Danny and Andy.

Stop winding the Northern lot up.

They are bricking it anyway without you two goading em.

Just hope the weather will be as nice as it is here today. Not a breath of wind, or a cloud in the sky.

Just think. This time next week the cup will be ours

The weather will be fantastic

The cup will not be yours, just take your medication and behave little boy

Alright Dad...I'll try to behave.

My boy and I will sort you and your Captain out, next week.

Andy,

Sorry to dissapoint you but technically your still a 28 handicapper

Well done though, although it won't help you one bit next Monday us Northerners eat 28 handicappers for breakfast

John.

Hmmmmm, an omen maybe??........  Kenny Perry, from NORTH America gasses out and ends up a loser, whilst Angel Cabrera, from SOUTH America holds his nerve and wins the big prize.

SOUTH wins. The End. 

Jim, Jim,Jim,

WAKE UP

your dreaming!!

No need to apologise Mr F - I am under no illusions as to my playing handicap vs my exact handicap however when you play like I do every decimal point counts!

We'll see about those eating eating habits of you Northerners come Monday - methinks it will be your words that you are eating.....

I wish all those who are travelling from afar safe journey and a fun and successful event for all concerned.  The trophy will go to the team who deserves it.

Until Sunday.  Au revoir.. 

I'll be getting there around 11:30 so hopefully rooms will be ready as i don't want to drive down wearing the same gear I'm going to play in

Wayne,

if you drove down in the gear you were going to play in you'd get stopped by the traffic police......or is that the fashion police??

I'm going to be very sedate for Sunday and positively laid back for Monday, I will be concentrating on kicking southern butts mate

Typo? Did you not mean sedated?

Watch it you !!!!!!

I see the draw has produced some rather interesting matches.

It has John & I am looking forward to our battle

I shall be waving those mars bars under your nose from the 1st tee

All that coaching to Mr Perry could come back to bite you on the arse (I've heard Chris is into that sort of thing !!)

Yes John, should prove to be an interesting battle, looks as though I will have to bring my "A" game with me.

Hey steady on John, we want a chance. I reckon your B- game will be enough.

Having just seen the final matches, this competition is going to be a doozy.

Been out practising today...I'm saying nothing!!!

And as for Waynetta's comment about kicking southern butts. All i can say is.. Wayne you have come out with some pearlers in your time. BUT....ROFLMFAO

You are not lulling me into a sense of false security, John, I am well aware of your capabilities having witnessed them. I have also witnessed moderator Perry score the best round of his life at my own course, so we most certainly will not be taking you lightly. I will accept the mars bars though.

I have a secret weapon in my partner who launches the ball into orbit.

Been on the range this weekend (still no time for a proper round). Hitting it ok a little left to right, but at least it was getting off the ground.

Hopefully get a round in Friday afternoon or Saturday. I got Ben King to stand by me.

Dont won't to ruin my 100% record in the N vs S tourney.

You'll be fine Danny. I have every faith in you, and all of team South, to play well on the day.

May have to sabotage Mr P's buggy then decide what to do to Kev H.  Luckily we should be over the other side of the course when Danny tees off, anywhere within a 300yd radius sounds like it may be dangerous...

"I have a secret weapon in my partner who launches the ball into orbit."

We in the North call that a "sky".  You need to help him out with it John, I think he's hitting it on the upswing.......

Having played with Darren, you will know that he is completely on his own when it comes to this game. I have great faith in him and I am hoping to support him in the quest to beat the pair of you.

I seem to remember he was calling me names at the end of our game John.  Some comments accusing me of serial robbery.  I hope the same words are forthcoming on Monday afternoon. 

If you play like you did that day then you would expect it, but this is not a friendly, this is serious business and we shall be trying our best to make sure you do not prevail. Looking forward to the game as I'm sure you are.

Some good pairings in there, shame the Southern captain has decided to pair up with his grandson instead of trying to settle the score against us with his original sparring partner.

I wasn't even aware there was a score to settle, Tim...

Surely you may well remember that Danny and I beat you...We, therefore, don't have any score to settle. You may well still be seething in the fact that you were 5 up at one point, but you lost  

 Now Danny and Ben will do the same to Paul Archer & Chris Salter, just as my SON and I will do to you and Mr Blobby..  See you there Mr. Northern (losing) Captain