I just read Drew Boyd's, "Hole in one blues" posted 8/12/2008, where someone calls a shot a "mole shagger" and also a mention of a "Sally Gunnel". My brother-in-law came up with a new one on me few weeks ago, a "prostitute shot". not very proud of it, but it did the job!!!

Hee hee. Very similar to my mates 'Wayne Sleep' .... bounces all over the place but ends up on the dance floor.

love these

Sally Gunnell - Its ugly but runs a long way

Paula ratcliffe - Bit better looking, runs further, then goes s*it at the end

Adolf Hitler - 2 in the bunker

A Fidell Castro putt - Just one more revolution needed.

a Russell Grant - Fat Iron

Pavarottis Jumper - A massive top

I like this one: -

Osama Bin Laden - Everyone knows where it went but you can't find the bugger anywhere

My favourite is the one named after Chris Perry... The Wet & Wild!!

I don't think an explanation is required

 Some of my lob wedges can be extremely anorexic or obese. Some golfers with terminal slices can be classed as a Damien Hirst ie can't draw. Those of us who have not mastered the short game can be categoried as the pop artist Adele ie likes a chip or two. 

I declared to my mate on Sunday that he has a lot in common with Princess Diana. That of course raised the eyebrows of the other playing partners as I proceeded to explain, "You both have awful drivers."

Saddam Hussein, out of one bunker and into another.

...and may I add 'a Paris Hilton'?

....an expensive hole

sorry.

I thought that was a 'London'..

Tim is right - London is 'an expensive hole'

 Anywhere North of that is just 'a hole'

A brazilian - shaved both sides of the hole.

An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you

A Ken Livingstone - quite far left

A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems!

Denis Wise - Nasty five footer

I've heard another good one today from 2 Seniors playing the 9th hole. One of thems turned to the other and said, "You can pick the ball up now." to which the other replied, "Why?" and the first guy has come back with, "Because you've taken more shots then the Sri Lanken Cricket Team."

Thats a pretty low one, but appeals to my sense of humour.

What have I started !! Someone will put these and more in a book and I shall get it as a present next Christmas !! 

John,

Do a search on google & there are quite a few.

John.

 Hang on a minute mine were all my own work, granted they're not as funny as Chris Watmore's.

This was actually said on air during the US PGA

US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his
balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!! What have I just said??'

 classic

I need help thinking up a saying for this shot. I'll set the scene, a 75 yr old scottish man standing on the 2nd hole at the PGA, Belfry when a playing partner thins his wedge shot & hits him straight on the arse!!!!

"The Chris Perry sniper shot!" Why? Because he always aims for his favourite target.......... the arse

John,

How long before we get the photo's of the 8th???????????

an elephants arse....it's high and it stinks

here's a few more

Celebrity golfing terminology

·         A Paris Hilton - an  expensive hole    

 ·      &n
bsp;  A Dennis Wise - a  nasty 5 footer    

 ·      
   A Salman Rushdie -  an impossible read  

 ·         A Rio Ferdinand -  Lipped out    

 ·      &nb
sp;  A Rock Hudson -  thought it was straight, but it wasn't  

 ·       &n
bsp; A Cuban - needs one  more revolution  

 ·       &n
bsp; An Elton John - a  big bender that lips the rim  

 ·         An Adolf Hitler -  two shots in the bunker  

 ·        
A Yasser Arafat -  ugly and in the sand  

 ·         A Kate Winslett -  little bit fat but otherwise perfect  

 ·        
; A Gerry Adams -  playing a Provisional  

 ·       &
nbsp; A Glen Miller -  kept low but didn't make it over the water  

 ·         An Arthur Scargill -  a great strike but a poor result    

 ·      
   A Russell Grant - a  fat iron  

 ·         A Rodney King -  over-clubbed  

 ·      
   An O.J. Simpson -  got away with it  

 ·         A Princess Grace -  should have taken a driver  

 ·        
A Princess Di -  shouldn't have taken a driver  

 ·        
A Robin Cook - just  died on the hill  

 ·         A Michael Jackson -  gradually fading  

 ·        
A Douglas Bader -  looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs  

 ·         A Ken Livingstone -  quite far left  

 ·         A Jean-Marie LePen  - a long way right  

 ·         A Ladyboy - looks  like an easy hole but all is not what it seems  

 ·         A Mrs Patel - ugly,  but a good worker  

 ·        
A condom - safe but  didn't feel real good  

 ·         A circus tent - a  BIG top  

 ·         An Anna Kournikova -  looks great, but unlikely to get a result  

 ·        
A Vinnie Jones -  nasty kick when you're not expecting it  

 ·         A Sally Gunnell -  ugly,but runs like F**k  

 ·         A Liz McColgan -  Ugly but runs forever  

 ·        
; A Brazilian -  Shaves both sides of the hole