So we have all heard of the "bandit" who claims to be off a higher handicap than they are. But what of the "bandit in reverse syndrome" - what have you come across that made you giggle..?

The kind of stuff like:

a) the basic cheat whose 6 becomes a 4 so too break 100.

b) the "it's winter so I give myself 5 shots" kind of mentality.

c) I was put off there - do't count it and throw another ball down.

d) Always breaking 90 or 80 when playing alone.

e) My last club/society handicap was 20 - actually 22 but 20 sounds better.

f) these clubs are sh$te "this week". I usually play to 16 honest..

These are just some terms/sayings I have heard of - are there any good ones you have happened upon....?

NWOT.........

Come across many of these 'Great' Golfers week in week out who when it comes to the crunch in an actual competition don't play anywhere near the tales they spend all week telling. They spend all week putting in 'General Play' cards where they've shot 6 under par etc then when it comes to the medal they play nowhere near their handicap and usually several shots above it. Then of course we get to hear all the excuses why they didn't play so well:

"In my backswing on the 2nd tee someone laughed on the 5th green so I pull-hooked it into the trees"

"The hole on the 4th Green was in the wrong place so there was no chance of getting a birdie there"

"The Group six Groups infront of us played the 7th hole a little too slowly so I lost my rythmn and concentration"

Funny thing is when the miracle or as I call it the 'Fluke' happens and they do have a good round, there is nothing but praise coming from them. "Course was really in good condition today. Pin positions where very fair but not gimmies by any means etc" When really the course hadn't been altered for a week because of staff holiday or wet weather preventing the coursework being carried out.

Yeah i know a few with artificially low handicap. To be honest it doesnt bother me just means that they have to play really well, much better than there proper handicap to beat me. Easy money i suppose.

To be honest you'd expect the low handicaper to beat the highone, so if he wins that expected but if your the highone and you beat him it makes you look better and he should hang his head in shame.

OT cant wait for the season to kick in to get some proper comp cards in to get my hadicap down

Would hope the season is already underway Matt. Had two qualifiers already where I am with the next coming this Saturday. Plus with the new Handicap Ruling you can always ask to do a 'Supplementary Score' now if you can't wait for the comps and want to try getting your handicap down sooner.

What?? No dont think so, were still on 14 holes and some winter greens.
And i heard a rumer that they were ona bout starting the season a month later than normal up here

Whats a suplimentary score?

This new thing CONGU have brought in as they've now basically said that Social/General Play Golf Scores should not be used for handicap adjustment. What has to happen now is a Golfer must on arrival at the club inform the club he wants to do a 'Supplementary Score'. He or She must then go out and play the course under competition conditions with another member with valid handicap to mark their card. Upon completition of the round the Golfer submits the card and the Club must then adjust their handicap accordingly.

So if you go out now with your mates and have a good score and think, "I'll put that card in." it won't be accepted. You have to state your intentions before playing. If for whatever reason after doing this you fail to submit the card, you've played badly, scored high etc Then you'll receive the same treatment as providing an NR or Disqualifiable Score in a Competition.

I don't understand any courses that aren't having qualifying competitionsnow. Weather at the moment is wonderfully mild for golf. Nows the times to be getting a cut on so to speak and making sure you're getting going for when the summer comes. If a course is open for play, it has a measured length and a SSS score. Then there is no reason why you can't have competitions and why they shouldn't be qualifiers.

Just attended a seminar on the handicap scheme this past week and the number of clubs that ignore the Rules set down by CONGU and seem to do as they please is shocking. No wonder there are so many dodgy golfers out there with suspect handicaps. So few Clubs seem to operate to the rules.

Yeah as far as i know at the moment at crook Saturdays is the Turkey trott just 14 holes of either stableford, bogey, stroke.
And on Sundays is the winterleague that i play in which again is the same 14 holes either stableford, bogey, stroke.
Both comps are doubles as well so theres no way of getting cut.

just been trying to find out our season starts at the end of march?????

Ahh yes, this is a practice undertaken by the ''I will get down to single figure h.c. in a year'' group of plonkers who's game is'nt quite improving.

Cultivating a h.c. you can never play to just to look good is something I just can't understand, of all the cheats in golf though I think these are the harmless kind because they rarelly win anything....

I definitely fell into this category about 6 months ago (I was playing off about 25 but claiming 18!). It's an aspirational thing and I just wanted to get lower so I would almost pretend to myself that I was a better player than I was.

I was also playing with mates at various copurses so we weren't playing for anything, just getting back into the game. Since I have joined a club I take my handicap far more seriously (my club handicap is 20.2) but they still have me playing off 16 in the swindle! My motivation isn't to win comps and stuff at the moment it is to be as good as I can be and get my handicap down to single figures in the next 2 years. It's still aspitational but at least now it's based in the real world.

I think that perhaps you havnt realised yet that there are some truly aweful players around (like me) who every once in a while get the lucky bounces and shoot a goodscore. Thus crucifying their handicaps which they cannot play to.

Thus im now in the sorry situation where i tell people that i play of 21 but go round in 111 as happens nearly every month.

Last year i shot an 83 one week and a 109 the following. I played 30 games last year and only played to my handicap twice and under it once. Am i Golfshakes most inconsistent player?

I admit that I personally fall under item 'D' on Robbie's list .... and I find it really frustrating that I play so much better solo than when I play with someone else.  I feel it is that I try too hard when I play with someone else and put pressure on myself; which is a bad thing for starters.  10-times worse if I play my Dad (who is in his 80's)!!
 
Definitely 100% not that I take liberties with the rules when playing solo.

I've found that just lately I've played much better golf playing with some relatively beginners. Not sure why that is, maybe the less competitive atmosphere and the facts games are more relaxed and enjoyable, leads to a more relaxed golf swing with more enjoyable results. Certainly on the occasions where I've gone out with my good and very talented golf buddies I've not played very well.

Its a funny old game and hopefully before too long I'll be back to being a normal bandit rather then the reverse type.

Don't see the point in anything like that myself. You eventually get found out. If you carry it on longer than than you need to look like a total plonker & have to change clubs to stop feeling embarresed every time you walk through the clubhouse door. 

 Sometimes you just have to face the fact you aint that good & live with it.

 Just to add I sometimes get accused of being a 'standard' bandit purely on the fact I can drive reasonably well. Pity these guys don't comment on my fairway & green play when we 're standing on the next tee.

Someone I knew took up golf 2 years ago, bought all the kit, joined a club and had lots of (very expensive) lessons and played about 20 rounds in a month and submitted the best ones for his handicap calculation.  They set him a handicap of 11 which he was really crowing about!  He's since moved clubs and plays off 18 (and thats still too low I reckon).  Still, makes it easy to beat him.

i play every now and again with an (a)

and always bullin him self up but every time i play him the same old sob stories

i dont play with him that often now