The wrong tees

A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front. He sees that this is a woman and, as he catches up to her on a par 3, that, in fact, she's very attractive. He's interested and suggests that they play the rest of the round together. She agrees and a very close match ensues. She turns out also to be a very talented golfer and she wins their little competition on the last hole.

He congratulates her in the parking lot then offers to give her a lift when he sees she doesn't have a car. All in all it's been a highly enjoyable morning.   On the way to her place, she thanks him for the morning's company and competition and says she hasn't enjoyed herself so much on the course for a long time. "In fact," she says, "I'd like you to pull over so I can show you how much I appreciated everything." He pulls over, they kiss and she gives him the best oral sex he's ever had.

The next morning he spies her at the first tee and suggests they play together again. He's actually quite competitive and slightly peeved that she beat him the previous day. Again they have a magnificent day, enjoying each other's company and playing a tight, competitive round of golf. Again she pips him at the last, again he drives her home and again she shows her appreciation.

This goes on all week, with her beating him narrowly every day. This is a sore point for his male ego but, nevertheless, in the car home from their Friday afternoon round, he tells her that he has had such a fine week that he has a surprise planned: dinner for two at a fancy candle-lit restaurant followed by a night of passion in the penthouse apartment of a posh hotel.

Surprisingly, she bursts into tears and says she can't agree to this. He can't work out what the fuss is about but eventually she admits the reason. "You see," she tearfully sobs, "I'm a transvestite." He is aghast. He swerves violently off the road, pulls the car to a screeching halt and curses madly, overcome with emotion. "I'm sorry," she repeats.

"You bastard," he screams, red in the face, "You cheating bastard. You've been playing off the red tees all week!!"

Golf Island

Holy Trinity

LOFT

The Race to Pine Ridge Starts tomorrow - get on!

HANDICAPS UPDATE

MAYWOOD

SATURDAY 25TH SEPTEMBER WAS THE LAST GAME OF THE 2010 SEASON.

A GOOD TURN OUT OF 17 MEMBERS & GUEST STEVE POULTNEY MEANT FOR A FINAL DAY FIGHT OUT AT THE TOP.

MAYWOOD WAS IN PRETTY GOOD CONDITION ESPECIALLY THE GREENS WHICH WERE CONSISTENT THROUGHOUT.

IT WAS A TOUGH DAY FOR MOST OF US.

CONGRATULATIONS TO 1ST PLACE STEVE HIPWELL, 2ND PLACE SEAN REYNOLDS & 3RD PLACE MARK SWANSON.

NEAREST THE PIN WAS WON BY KEVIN BATON & LONGEST DRIVE BY TOMMY (JOHN DALY) MACLOUGHLIN. WELL DONE.

THANK YOU TO MAYWOOD FOR A GOOD DAY OUT!

THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN TO THE CROWN INN ANSTEY FOR THEOR HOSPITALITY AS USUAL.

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU TO KEVIN BATSON THE CAPTAIN THIS SEASON FOR THE EVENTS HE HAS ARRANGED.  THANKS ALSO TO MICK GISBORNE FOR HIS USUAL HARD SHIFT THIS YEAR.

THANK YOU TO OUR PRESIDENT MIKE READ & NOT FORGETTING THE HANDICAPS SECRETARY DAN (THE HATCHET) PEGG FOR THEIR CONTINUED SUPPORT & HARD WORK THROUGHOUT THE YEAR.

A FINAL CONGRATLATIONS TO THE TOP THREE THIS YEAR

1ST PLACE MARK SWANSON

2ND PLACE DAN PEGG

3RD PLACE DAVID PRESTON

SEE YOU ALL AT THE PRESENTATION NIGHT

RESULT MAYWOOD

LEADERBOARD FINAL RESULT

Lower handicap....somehow!

On my last blog I said I was going to Shortwood Lodge and was aiming to beat my previous score there of 111.  I did, but it could have been better.  I was 8 shots better off, scoring 103, but could, and should have scored under 100.  I scored a dissapointing 10 on one of the closing holes.  I literally hacked my way down the fairway, which was made even more dissapointing by the fact that I had scored 2 pars on the 2 holes prior to that hole!

I completed a round on the par 3 course at Thornbury a few days back.  Scored 76, which was one of my best rounds for a long time, but I'm still wondering how I managed it!?!?  I was appalling off the tee, with shots going left, right, and 10 yards in front!!  I normally get on really well with the tee's up there, but on this occasion, not so good.  I think I somehow kept the score down with my chip shots and my much improved putting, following a lesson on putting last week.

Spent an hour at the driving range today, where everything I was hitting off the tee was going dead straight, the complete opposite of Thornbury last week.  I guess I'll just have to put it down to one of those off days!  Despite the poor tee shots, my handicap came down by 1 to 23, so all in all, I should be pleased!  I just hope I can become more consistent and decrease it even further!

Enjoy the Ryder Cup!

HANDICAPS UPDATE

LEADERBOARD 2010 UPDATED

RESULT STAVERTON PARK G.C

WINTER LEAGUE DRAW 2010/11

STAVERTON PARK PRESIDENTS DAY

THE CROWN GOLF SOCIETY HAVE A TOURNAMENT AT STAVERTON PARK DAVENTRY.

THIS SATURDAY THE 9TH SEPTEMBER TEE OFF AT 10:30 SHARP SO PLEASE CAN ALL MEMBERS GET THERE EARLY TO MAKE THE DAY RUN SMOOTHLY.

ITS MIKE READ'S PRESIDENTS DAY SO LETS MAKE IT A SPECIAL ONE.

SEE YOU ALL THERE

GOOD LOOK.